I PROMISE that this is the last blog that I will write about our wedding…. at least until our 50th wedding anniversary rolls around. (I can imagine sighs of relief- and maybe even a few cheers- erupting at that most welcome news.)
We got engaged on Friday night, April 12th- and we set our wedding day for Saturday, September 14th. That left us with five paltry months in order to put together what we knew was going to be a wedding to which we were going to invite not only family and friends but also the entire Holy Communion congregation. So we were planning something way too big for us to do by ourselves- and we will always be incredibly grateful to everyone who pitched in to make it all happen.
Beyond what I’ve already talked about, here are a couple of other thank you’s. OUR WEDDING INVITATIONS were actually designed by my sister, Randi. She volunteered to help put some options together and we spent quite a fun evening over at Everetta McQuestion’s house (where I lived the summer before the wedding) looking over what she had prepared and choosing the design we liked most. We appreciated her creative ideas – and in retrospect I also appreciate how graciously Kathy received her help. Some brides would have been too possessive to allow their future sister-in-law on their “turf” and I will always be grateful to Kathy for allowing my sister in on our fun. And I’m glad that we opted for a design where ‘some assembly’ was required.
One of the biggest and most complicated projects in all of this was the construction of OUR WEDDING BULLETIN. Normal people have a bulletin that’s one sheet of paper, folded over. Not us. Our wedding bulletin was like a small phone book – containing the order of service, the text of the readings, the lyrics of the songs, thank you’s, and a list of participants with short paragraphs about each person (explaining how we knew them.) You can probably guess that it was me who decided that all of that needed to be included – and I still can’t quite figure out what in the world made me go so overboard. One thing is for sure: if I had been responsible for typing all of that up and putting it together it never would have happened. Fortunately, an Angel of Mercy appeared in the form of Dr. John Windh, a beloved friend who was one of Kathy’s most cherished music professors at Carthage. He was one of the only people we knew at the time who both owned his own personal computer AND who had mastered it! He offered to put our wedding bulletin together- probably never dreaming that it would be such a gigantic task- and could not have been more patient or gracious. I know we thanked him vociferously at the time, but I hope he has the chance to read this so he knows how much we continue to appreciate all that he did. And by the way, in case you’re curious, here’s a look at our wedding bulletin: All Ten Pages Of It!
I also need to make mention of the beautiful REHEARSAL DINNER that was planned and prepared by my brother Steve, who is an absolute master when it comes to such things. (It’s a good thing he took care of it. Had it been left up to me, we would have had Rocky Rococo’s Pizza delivered to the church.) I’m not sure who pitched in to help him, but someone managed to transform one corner of our church’s fellowship hall into an elegant space and then cook and serve an absolutely exquisite meal that included meatballs filled with currants.
For as elegant as the meal and setting was, I’m glad that the evening also included one fun story after another. There was Polly, the maid of honor, reminiscing about how bewildered she was that Kathy was bawling her eyes out as they watched the opening episode of “Eight is Enough” – giving her older sister quizzical and amused looks until finally Kathy managed to say through sobs “I can’t help it!” There was also the moment when Kathy and her bridesmaid Lynn Derfus did a little demonstration of the funny dance they would do to the song “You’d Better Shop Around” in which they would push an imaginary shopping cart and pluck items off imaginary shelves- to the rhythm of the song. Of course, plenty of stories got told about me …. including a story from Marshall’s dad about how I would stop by Hart’s Bakery almost every day after school, buy six white cupcakes, and eat them all on the way home. I’m glad that it was such a relaxed and fun night- but it was also terrific to have enjoyed together an amazing meal that had been prepared not by strangers from a catering company but rather by loved ones who did it because they loved us.
Thinking about all this makes me realize that Weddings aren’t just about the love between the two people getting married. A wedding should also be a celebration of all of the love we have received from everyone who has cared about us throughout our lives – and all of the love that we will receive from that day forward.
<Pictured above: Most of the Carthage friends who attended our wedding. When I look at this picture, it reminds me that one of the best things about marrying Kathy is that when our lives were joined together, her family and friends – in a very real sense – became my family and friends. And when I think about the blessings in my life for which I am most grateful, this is very close to the top of the list. Pictured below: More friends and family photos from that great day. First row: Laura, Lynn and Polly … GB w/ Annette de la Torre. Second row: Kathy’s dad and her two uncles, Dick and Warren … Polly with Chip. Third row: Allison with two of her children … Dal Drummer dancing with his daughter Mari . Fourth row: Marshall …. GB with Kathy’s mom. Fifth row: GB with my siblings. Sixth row: Members of the senior choir singing under the direction of Amy Haines. >
