How did you spend Sunday, September 11th, 2016 – the 15th anniversary of 9-11? I suppose a few people treated it as just another autumn day. I suspect, however, that most of us felt compelled to take at least a few moments from the day to remember what happened to all of us who were alive on 9-11, to reflect on those who were killed and everyone who lost a loved one (or loved ones) that day, and to commend the valor and selflessness of the first responders, especially those who lost their lives that day. My own observance of the 9-11 anniversary was unconventional, to say the least, because the day was dominated by the prep for and performance of my faculty recital, titled “Love Changes Everything: Love in Song Through the Centuries.” The recital’s theme was actually conceived as a celebration of our 25th wedding anniversary (which was actually on the 14th) and only later did I realize that the recital was going to fall on this very different anniversary. At first, it seemed like an unfortunate and awkward coincidence, and I couldn’t imagine singing a lighthearted recital of love songs without some mention of 9-11 … yet couldn’t quite conceive of how to do that in a way that wouldn’t feel very forced and contrived.
Three different things helped me see all of this in a completely different light. The first was something said by a docent of the 9-11 Memorial in a television program called “15 Septembers Later.” I’m going to put quotes around these words, even though this is not a perfect, literal quotation. What he essentially said was “the farther that 9-11 recedes into our history, the more likely we are to only remember its darker themes of hatred and tragedy and loss. And when we do that, that means we will forget about the incredible outpouring of love that occurred on that day and in the days that followed. We must not forget that.” He is so right.
A second thing that helped me think of the 9-11 anniversary in concord with our wedding anniversary and this recital was to remember how Kathy and I celebrated our 10th anniversary, which fell on Friday night, September 14th, 2001- three days after 9-11. We had planned a gigantic celebration at our house and invited maybe 50 or 60 of our friends. The shocking tragedy of Tuesday the 11th made us reconsider whether or not such a celebration was still appropriate- or frankly even possible. But almost immediately, we decided that it was more important than ever to proceed exactly as we planned, and that’s what we did. And of all of the gatherings and parties that have occurred in our home over the years, this is the most precious one of all for me. It was our small way of looking out into the darkness and saying “love is stronger. Love is stronger than anything.” It ended up being a very special night with lots of laughter- lots of singing- and a touching moment of silence as we gathered with our guests in the middle of the street in front of our house, formed a circle, and prayed. It’s something I will never ever forget.
But the third and final connection came a couple of days before my recital when I watched a docu-drama about United 93, the only one of the four highjacked planes on 9-11 that failed to reach its target, thanks to the courageous intervention of the passengers who rose up to attempt to take back the plane from the four terrorists who had highjacked it. It prompted me to take out my DVD of the theatrical film United 93, which to this day remains one of the most powerful and haunting films I have ever seen. When it was released to theaters in 2006, I saw it five times. There was just something so remarkable both about the story and about the spare way in which that story was told and I simply could not get enough of it. And as I put on that DVD and watched the film again (for the first time since I bought the disk some years ago) I found myself as overwhelmed as I was when I first watched it.
This time around, I was especially moved by the sight of passengers desperately calling loved ones on their cell phones or the plane’s phones in order to say – for what they had to believe or at least fear was the very last time – that they loved them. It happens over and over again- and each phone call is a little bit different, but in their essence they are all the same phone call made for exactly the same reason: to say farewell and I love you. The cumulative effect is wrenching, because it underscores how our collective loss on 9-11 was not just of all of those lives cut short so unjustly, but also the abrupt interruption of the love stories woven into each of those lives.
I am so glad that I came to understand this aspect of the story more clearly- because, like most Americans who love this film, I found myself initially inspired by the astonishing heroism that is depicted. And it’s important to say that the filmmakers do not portray that heroism in larger-than-life terms. These are real, authentic human beings- scared, confused, but ultimately determined to wrest control of their own fate away from the grip of the madmen who had taken over their plane. Had they been built into superhuman heroes and heroines, we would not have related to them at all. But thankfully, we are given an extraordinary sense of what it was like to be one of those innocent doomed passengers aboard that plane – which also prompts this question: What Would We Have Done if we had been on that plane with them?
One inescapable reality of this story is that we do not know- and we almost certainly never will know- just exactly what transpired on board that plane that day. We can glean much from various passengers and crew members said in those desperate phone calls- and there is also audio from the cockpit (never released to the public- only played relatives of the passengers) that yields a few more clues. But most of the specifics in this story spring from conjecture. The one thing beyond dispute is how important it was to these doomed passengers to reach out to the people most important to them and say to them …. one more time …. I love you. It is when life is at its worst – at its most desperate – that we know beyond a shadow of a doubt what matters most.
It’s Love.