It feels a little odd for me to be writing mournful words about the closing of a local Bar & Grill in the wake of yesterday’s horrific fire that engulfed Notre Dame Cathedral yesterday. It feels almost disrespectful to mention the one loss in the same breath as the other. And yet, in a peculiar sort of way that I am still trying to sort out in my mind, they feel like related losses to me. They both have to do with what it means to love a certain place – for whatever reason – and that acute sense of loss when that place is no longer there- or is forever changed, against our wishes. It can create a truly profound sense of sadness and loss, especially when you’re talking about a place that has been an important part of your life for decades.
Fortunately, the community of Racine has not lost the Yard Arm Bar & Grille because of anything terrible like a fire – but rather because its owners have decided that 37 years is enough and that it’s time to begin a new chapter. And because the owners gave ample notice to their customers, it has been possible for people to make peace with the thought of letting go of the place – and of saying goodbye in whatever way felt right. Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen all kinds of photos on Facebook of people visiting the Yard Arm for what they were guessing would be the last time, enjoying one more meal, one more drink.
Our connection to the Yard Arm is a little deeper than most – and this is especially true of Kathy. She was actually there the night the Yard Arm opened for business back in 1983 when it was just a bar. It was owned by the father of one of Kathy’s closest friends, Laura Bennett – and the Yard Arm was one of Kathy’s favorite hang outs in those early years. It was Kathy who introduced me to the Yard Arm not too long after we began dating in 1988 …. and in the years since, the Yard Arm has been the place we have eaten most often (besides our own dining room.) But it’s more than just frequency- the Yard Arm is often the place we would go when we had something to celebrate and/or wanted to rendezvous with friends. It has been the site of numerous cast parties for the Racine Theater Guild – and also the gathering place for some Carthage music reunions. And the last time that my whole family was with us in Racine for Christmas, we made a point of enjoying one meal together at the Yard Arm. We have experienced a lot of love and laughter within those four walls, more than I could possibly calculate. And I can also think of a couple of times when Kathy and I chose the Yard Arm as a place to go after experiencing a sadness of some sort or if we had something serious to talk about. It was our favorite place to go when we wanted/needed to get out of the house yet still wanted to be home. (I doubt very much that we could have ever felt that way about our local Chili’s or Red Robin, no matter how much we might like the food or atmosphere. Even if we ate there week after week without fail, there’s no way a place like that could feel like home the way the Yard Arm does.) And a really important reason for that is that whenever you walked into the Yard Arm, it was almost certain that you would be warmly welcomed by either Laura or her sister Lisa, who have owned and operated the Yard Arm for the last 24 years and made their dad incredibly proud.
Kathy and I actually enjoyed two “last meals” at the Yard Arm. The first was a dinner with Kathy’s family a couple of weeks ago- and because it was a special occasion, most of us chose to indulge in the decadent dessert for which the Yard Arm is justly famous- their homemade ice cream cakes. And by the way, this imposing specimen is a Mini Ice Cream Cake … perhaps the greatest misnomer in the civilized world.
This past Saturday, Kathy and I gathered at the Yard Arm with our dear friends Ted, Vicki and Denise – and it was only after we were there that we learned that it was the last day that the Yard Arm would be open to the public. (Laura told us that they did not want to make too big a deal of the Last Day, which is why they did not go out of their way to publicize exactly what the last day would be.) So by the happiest of coincidences, we were there at the very end – which meant that Kathy could close the circle. She was there on the first day. She was there on the last day. It made us even more grateful to be there. We enjoyed our meal immensely and especially savored every bite of the Yard Arm’s famous Sand Dollars (thinly sliced potatoes, lightly deep fried and sprinkled with parmesan cheese) … a signature item on the Yard Arm’s menu and unique to the Yard Arm, as far as we know.
But what we savored even more was the joy of being with friends we love in a place we love.
And we left with some keepsakes. We purchased some Yard Arm apparel … were given some coasters … and in a gesture that I think was incredibly sweet, Laura offered Kathy one of the model ships that sat in one of the windows to help enhance the nautical theme of the place. For the moment it is sitting on our mantel, but wherever it ends up in our house, it will serve as a potent reminder of the all of the happy times we spent in this home away from home.
As I walked away from the Yard Arm for the last time, I thought of a marvelous local singer from Ireland named Jeff Ward, a musician who has performed many times at the Yard Arm over the years. It was through Jeff that I was introduced to the poignant Irish song “The Parting Glass,” which ends with these words:
So fill to me the parting glass … Good night and joy be with you all.
P.S.- The business has been sold to someone who is renaming it Joey’s Yard Arm- and although there will be extensive changes in the look of the place and in the menu, rumor has it that Sand Dollars may still be offered. Fingers crossed ….