Lately, I have been thinking about some simple words that are part of the opening prayer in the Lutheran funeral liturgy: O God of grace and glory, we remember before You today < their name >. We thank you for giving him/her to us to know and to love . . . ” These words point us to a truth that we often fail to fully appreciate: that the people in our lives are perhaps the single greatest blessing we are given in this life.
One week ago today, I was singing a beautiful setting of the Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi for the funeral service of my best friend’s mother, Amme Anderson- perhaps the gentlest, sweetest person I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I knew her for at least half a century, and in all of that time I cannot ever remember her saying an unkind word about someone – not once – not ever. She was a tirelessly devoted wife and mother and the Anderson home was the most spotless home I ever saw – and she did this despite having to contend with very serious health problems that she bore without complaint. She was a quiet, soothing presence – unfailingly devoted and diligent – and willing to do absolutely anything for the sake of her loved ones. But beyond all this, she was tremendously intelligent (a registered nurse) and incredibly fun and you walked away from any encounter with her feeling better about yourself and better about the world. And even towards the end, as her mind became a bit cloudy, her spirit remained as lovely and gentle as ever. She was a gift to all who knew her.
I thank God for giving me Amme Anderson to know and to love …
Five days before that, I was singing “What wondrous Love” for the funeral service of a 104-year-old woman named Henrietta Welch who was utterly different from Amme Anderson in almost every way. She was blunt and outrageous and dominated every room she entered – but in a way that was unfailingly fun and entertaining. She was a force of nature, which is why she managed to succeed as a band and orchestra conductor at a time when it was exceedingly rare for women to enter the field at all, let alone succeed at it. And long after she had retired as an educator, she was still shaking up the world in her own inimitable way, speaking her mind without hesitation, even if it might mean bruising someone’s feelings … but always because she thought she was saying something that simply had to be said. As a teacher, she was someone you didn’t even think about messing with- and even after she has passed the century mark, you still found yourself anxious to avoid her wrath. And yet, she was also a person who loved to laugh and knew how to spread laughter amongst others- and more importantly, she was a genuinely loving and caring person as well. She was a gift to all who knew her.
I thank God, for giving me Henrietta Welch to know and to love …
Here were two of the most remarkable and inspiring women I’ve ever known, who could not have been more different from each other – and I was fortunate enough to have both of them in my life. Thinking of them in contrast to each other is a bold reminder of all of the ways in which one can be created in the image of God.
Amidst those two goodbyes was also a goodbye to an incredible guy named Jack Potter, the beloved father of our dear friend Kate Potter Barrow. I have never known anybody who was a more joyous, jovial person than Jack Potter. He relished every bit of his life and cherished his loved ones with all of his being. He was a home-grown son of the Minnesota prairie and was just as down to earth and ordinary as that description might suggest- yet he was also a deeply inquisitive and philosophical person who was genuinely interested in the wider world and saw it with an imaginative and progressive perspective. And he commanded an exceptional level of respect and affection from all who knew him and worked with him- and was unfailingly appreciative of everyone around him and of anything and everything that was ever done for him. And even as health difficulties began to relentlessly encroach upon him in his last year of life, he remained his vibrant self. His funeral was the same day as Amme Anderson’s, so I was unable to attend- but Kathy was there and described to me how the church was packed to the rafters with family and friends who were anxious to pay tribute to their beloved Jack. He was a gift to all who knew him.
I thank God for giving me Jack Potter to know and to love …
]Of all of life’s blessings, I think the one we take the most for granted is the blessing of knowing all of the people who are part of our lives. I’m actually not so much talking about those special people who are truly central to who we are- parents, siblings, treasured mentors, close friends- because we tend to think about them a lot and appreciate them to varying degrees. What I really mean are all of the other people who populate our lives in all kinds of different ways … as neighbors, coworkers, people with whom we volunteer, fellow church members, people in the community … many of whom we might also count among our friends. And I don’t just mean everyone who is a part of lives right now- but everyone who has been a part of our lives in the past- or will be in the future. And I don’t just mean those people we like or have liked- but also the people who have rubbed us the wrong way or deeply offended us or worse- people we might actually number among our enemies. (I have had a few.) I mean everybody in our lives: the good and the bad, the lovely and the ugly, the lovable and the unlovable, those whom we admire and emulate and those who drive us crazy. Think of all of those people – you couldn’t possibly number or name them all – and then think about how utterly unique each and every one of them is – and how within each person is a wealth of complexity, if we but take the time to look beneath the surface or past our pat first impressions. (That’s how we come to appreciate the amazing strength of someone as gentle as Amme Anderson- or the inner sweetness of someone as formidable as Henrietta Welch- or the wide-ranging inquisitiveness of a rooted man of the prairie like Jack Potter.) It’s an overwhelming thing to contemplate, and one can’t help but realize how barren and pedestrian life would be without the many and varied people who have traveled, are traveling, or will travel life’s journey with us.
It’s funny how life will serve up certain moments when the immensity of this blessing is made clear – and it isn’t just events like funerals for important people in our lives. I think of one particular moment for me that happens every fall when my voice students and I gather together for our first voice studio class of the semester. Typically, I will pause at some point during the hour to snap a quick photo of the guys- but it’s only later, when I have a moment to look at the picture, that I am powerfully reminded of how cool it is that I can teach voice to such an interesting array of young men – each one of them their own unique blend of gifts and talents, experiences and instincts, strengths and weaknesses, attributes and foibles. Not one of them is exactly like any other- and collectively they represent a beautiful crazy quilt of humanity. And I am the lucky guy who gets to teach them …. and who, in doing so, gets to learn so much along the way.
So I thank God for all of the other people I have been given to know and to love in this life. Frankly, some are easier to love than others- just as some of them surely find me hard to love- but I cannot imagine my life without them. I thank God for the people who challenge me- who try my patience- who drive me crazy. I thank God for the people who make me think- who make me wonder- who give me hope. I thank God for the people who nourish me- who inspire me- who make me feel special. I thank God for the people who make me glad to be alive. I thank God for the people who teach me- who spark me to grow- who keep me from being complacent. I thank God for the people who fascinate me – who perplex me- who shock me. I thank God for the people who make me laugh … and for the people who make me cry. I thank God for the people who have mentored me – for the people whom I emulate -and for the people who anger me and spur me to action. I thank God for all of the people who love me- and for all of the people I love. I thank God for them all.
I thank God for them all.