One of the very best things about the summer of ’13 for Kathy and me is that we were able to attend two lovely weddings on consecutive weekends in August – and in a summer when there’s been a little too much sadness and sorrow, it has been great to have these two occasions to celebrate with unapologetic delight.
One of the neatest things about experiencing these two weddings back-to-back was that they were done in dramatically different settings – as were their receptions – but both were absolutely beautiful and perfect. The first of the two was the wedding of Justin Marschall, son of our dear friends Jon and Cathy Marschall. (Jon and my wife sang together at Carthage and have been bosom buddies ever since.) Justin has been an amazing young man for as long as we can remember- incredibly intelligent, sensitive, kind-hearted, and mature beyond his years – and a lot of fun as well (just like his folks.) And the best thing about Justin is that if he were to read the words I just read, I’m certain that his sincere reaction would be “Who? Me?” And while we don’t know his bride, Katelyn, nearly as well as we know Justin, all we’ve heard about her is similarly glowing. These are two young people with such caring hearts.
Since both of them graduated from Luther, they wanted to be married in or around Decorah – what a great choice! – and they ended up having the wedding itself at a barn. Yes, a barn. Several years ago, a local physician purchased some property just outside of town and built a barn expressly for the purpose of being the site for weddings and other celebrations. The setting is breathtaking, overlooking a gorgeous verdant valley – and the day of their wedding was sunny and beautiful. (If the weather had not been nice, the barn is available as a backup. And there’s another small structure- which appears to have been built in simple Shaker fashion- that serves nicely as a space for changing and getting things organized. So one has all the simple beauty of a natural setting without the headaches that would intrude if you just walked out into someone’s pasture and tried to have a wedding.) The instrumental music was provided by a classical guitarist, and Justin’s sister Caitlin sang “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring.” The pastor who officiated was Justin’s pastor from his baptism to high school confirmation, and he spoke so tenderly about Justin and the very special young man he is. But he spoke glowingly of Katelyn as well, having come to know her and appreciate her over the last few months, especially. His sermon was beautifully done, and I especially appreciated his advice to any couple who need to revitalize or refresh their marriage. His advice? Not to take a fancy a fancy trip or buy that fancy boat. He said that the best thing you could do is to think about what your partner most needs and then do what you can to fulfill those needs. And in a truly loving marriage with both partners ministering to the needs of the other, this is all you need. I really love that, and in all of the wedding sermons I’ve heard over the years, I’m not sure I’ve ever heard advice I appreciated more than this.
And once it was all done, we left the rustic beauty of this barn out in the country and enjoyed the elegance of the Hotel Winneshiek in downtown Decorah and a beautiful dinner which also featured wonderful entertainment from a 10-piece orchestra …. a group which had performed at Luther during Justin and Katelyn’s freshman year. I think it was Justin who made a mental note at the time that if and when he ever got married, he hoped that this group would be able to perform for the reception. And it happened – and they were great! Which reminds me- the wedding and reception reflected what these two had always wanted: Katelyn had always dreamt of an outdoor wedding in the country, and Justin always envisioned a really classy and elegant reception – so they blended the two visions, and did so perfectly. And completing the delight for Kathy and me was that we got to share the weekend’s festivities with our dear friends the Repsholdts and Glucks, which made the whole weekend a marvelous celebration not only of love and marriage, but of friendship.
Friendship was also at the heart of the equally beautiful wedding we attended this past weekend – when Dimitri Shapovalov and Laura Wangaard were married on the stage of Carthage’s recital hall. The original plan had been for the wedding to happen right on the shore of Lake Michigan, on the beach just beyond the Pennoyer Park Band Shell where the Kenosha Pops Band plays every summer. But Mother Nature had other plans, and threatening storms plus heavy fog forced the festivities indoors – but it was simply a matter of exchanging one kind of loveliness for another. I, for one, was grateful that the wedding ended up happening where it did because it was even easier to hear every single word of the beautiful ceremony, which was led by Laura’s uncle, who is a Presbyterian minister. I was about to write that the service was devoid of music, in that there was no musical processional or recessional – nor anything sung. But there was music in the wonderful sermon, in which the couple was presented with an unexpected gift (gift wrapped and everything!) It was a tuning fork, beautifully mounted in a frame, and it was the perfect vehicle for explaining how two lives in a marriage can achieve a very special sort of beauty. He went on to talk about how a marriage resembles a symphony in terms of its rich complexity and the fact that the typical symphony contains a plethora of colors and moods. No one has ever composed a symphony which was nothing but soft, ethereal strings and pleasant, soothing music. A full-fledged symphony takes us into all kinds of different musical places- and the richest and most interesting symphonies include some darkness and dissonance. Later when I spoke to Dimitri about the sermon, he called it “masterful” – and I heartily agree.
The reception for Dimitri and Laura occurred the following afternoon, and it was at Laura’s parents’ home- a warm, comfortable gathering that was so “them.” There was delicious food (and plenty of it) from Infusino’s- and most of us were seated underneath a big tent erected in their front yard and driveway. The day was perfect for such a gathering and friends from far and wide were there to wish them well. It was especially nice to have a few minutes to reconnect with Dimitri’s parents, who are such lovely and interesting people … and it was good to talk not only about happy topics like Dimitri and Laura and their love, but also to talk about the unsettling situation back in Russia where they once lived and where many of their friends still are. In a strange sort of way, talking with Mrs. Shapovalov about the disturbing and even heartbreaking situation in Russia made the joyous occasion for which we were gathered even more treasurable. And I’m glad that just before we left, Laura’s dad made a point of introducing Kathy to the guests as the Person Who Introduced Laura and Dimitri to Each Other! (It was back when Kathy and Dimitri performed together at the RTG in “Glorious.”) Kathy is not a matchmaker, by nature. She doesn’t like to intrude into the lives of others in any way. But I suspect that deep down she knew that Laura (who is her colleague at Schulte Elementary School) and Dimitri (a faculty colleague of mine at Carthage) would hit it off splendidly. And needless to say, they have – and it was such a joy to witness their wedding and to enjoy the celebration thereafter.
There is a lot of materialism and selfishness afoot in the world right now – and it gets thrown in our face all the time via the media, which loves to milk such distasteful behavior for all its entertainment value. It’s enough to leave you with the disconcerting sense that we are plunging down a dark vortex from which we cannot possibly emerge. But then a couple of weddings come along to remind you of what life is really about …. and of how beautiful and rich life is when real love is at the heart of it. Thank you, Justin and Katelyn (and your families) …. and thank you, Dimitri and Laura (and your families) …. for the reminder.
pictured above: This is a delightful moment from the procession at Justin and Katelyn’s wedding. When it came time for the young flower girls and the ring bearer to come down the aisle, Justin instinctively got down on his haunches to help welcome them down the aisle, and greeted each one of them with a warm hug. It was an absolutely beautiful moment. And speaking of beautiful, look at that view!