Seconds after I typed the heading to this entry, Kathy turned on the T.V. – and believe it or not, Carole King is singing her marvelous song “You Got a Friend” on TV as the finale to this year’s MDA telethon . . . one of these uncanny coincidences that sure makes it seems like this world of ours is full of connections that we do not begin to understand. This song was already on my mind because Pastor Bill asked me this morning if Caritas would be able to sing it next Sunday as part of his children’s sermon (come to think of it, I still need to ask my two singing partners about doing that) . . . but it goes beyond that. The past week has presented one reminder after another of how incredibly precious the gift of friendship is.
It started Wednesday evening when Kathy and I went out for supper with Kate and Anneka Barrow – a last meal before our goddaughter was to be taken to Madison the next day to begin her collegiate career at the University of Madison. (Wasn’t it just yesterday that we were peering at her through the window of the St. Luke’s maternity ward? How can time hurdle by this quickly?) Sitting in that booth at Chili’s, just the four of us, felt so right – so good. This is what is so special about being close friends over the long haul- you come to know each other so thoroughly, through the unfolding chapters of life – developing the deepest sort of connections with one another that one should never take for granted.
At some point during the meal, I got a text message on my cell phone that kicked the world right off of its axis. My best friend, Marshall, was informing us that severe chest pains had prompted him to go to the ER- and they were still trying to figure out what was wrong… a heart attack or something else? Neither Marshall nor I are what you would call a paragon of good health (Men’s Health hasn’t yet photographed us for the cover of their magazine) and we’ve both got more than fifty candles on our respective birthday cakes, so this kind of thing is not exactly an outrageously farfetched possibility. . . but still, I’m not sure I’ve ever been more shocked in my life. There was also no question that I had to drive to Fort Atkinson right then and there to be with him, which I did with Kathy’s immediate and firm blessing. I knew he would do the same thing, were the situation reversed- it’s what best friends do. (By the way, Marshall mentioned in one of his follow-up texts that he very much regretted not having his Nook with him, so I swung by our house to grab three opera books plus three old issues of Opera News magazine. Good friends just know what each other needs most.) Marshall’s difficulty turned out not to be a heart attack but a blood clot in one of his lungs, and nothing was more important to me than following his progress- and posing all kinds of questions to my sister Randi, the doctor in the family, who patiently answered each and every one of my queries. I’m glad to say that Marshall is recovering and hopes to be out of the hospital in the next few days- but in the meantime, a big part of my mind and heart is with him.
Friday night was the opening dinner at Carthage, an opportunity to reconnect with past and present colleagues, meet new colleagues, and honor those who have served the college for 10, 15, 20, 25 years or even longer. This year’s event, instead of a sit down formal banquet, was an affair where we were traveling amongst various stations located throughout the student union. As a veritable Old Dog, reluctant to learn New Tricks, I was skeptical – but in fact it proved to be a delightful change because it made it so much easier to meet and greet many more people, and I walked away from the event with a profound sense of gratitude for the great people with whom I’m privileged to teach. . . many of whom I’m also privileged to regard as friends.
This afternoon was New Student Convocation at Carthage, a stirring ceremony to welcome our new freshmen to the college. The entire faculty was there, decked out in our academic regalia, and we were also honored by the presence of Miss America herself- Carthage graduate Laura Kaeppler, who sang beautifully (and I was honored to play piano for her, as well as for the Carthage Choir.) But I think it’s fair to say that the heart and soul of the event was the address delivered by Carthage’s new president, Dr. Greg Woodward. The man is an absolute master in such situations, and not just for his amazing wit- but also for his remarkable capacity to talk about fairly complicated stuff with ease and clarity. The title and theme of his talk was “I Am Because We Are,” and the central gist of it was the need for us to dwell a bit less on “I” and to dwell a bit more on “We.” As one looked out over that sea of 800 young faces, it was interesting to think about the new friendships that will be formed between young people who at the moment are still strangers to each other. . . and how many of those friendships will be utterly transformative.
This afternoon, Kathy and I spent a few minutes at the home of Jim and Joleen Carlson with some other friends from Holy Communion, but we had to leave early in order to join six of our dearest longtime Carthage friends. Once a year for more than a decade, we have been rendezvousing at Buca di Beppo’s Italian Restaurant in Milwaukee for what is always one of our favorite nights of the whole year. This time around was yet another amazing celebration of the joy and delight we find in these enduring friendships. We may have been enjoying spectacular food- and lots of it! – but it was much more about those precious friends with whom we were sharing the meal that mattered most. Leslie and Bob— Cathy and Jon— Vicki and Ted. Over the years, our annual gatherings have been a chance to catch up on each other’s lives…. to hear all about weddings, graduations, trips, promotions, and every other kind of life’s delights…. as well as the divorces, funerals, illnesses, job losses, and all the other disappointments that can make life so tough. It’s not that friendship shields us from life’s difficulties, but simply that we are not alone as we confront them. And it is just as important to remember that we are also not alone in life’s joys, but get to share them with our friends- which make them all the more precious. Tonight, just for fun, I brought with me my first royalties check from Hal Leonard music publishing, which came in the mail just a couple of days earlier…. a check for $98. Leslie (a high school choral director) was so happy for me, you would have thought that the check had been written to her. And isn’t that what friendship is all about? Sharing joys, sharing hurts, sharing it all, through all the seasons of life, and through all that those seasons may bring.
“Winter, spring, summer or fall . . .
All you have to do is call . . .
and I’ll be there. Yes, I will . . .
You’ve got a Friend.”
pictured above: first row: Cathy Marschall, Leslie Gluck, GB. second row: Kathy Berg, Jon Marschall, Vicki Repsholdt, Bob Gluck, Ted Repsholdt.