Kathy and I have had our delightful niece Lorelai staying with us for the last few days – and it may have left us bone- crushingly exhausted, but only in the best sense – the kind of exhilarating exhaustion that comes from packing a ridiculous amount of fun in short amount of time, and having that fun with someone you love as much as life itself.
I should also say in the interest of full disclosure that I seem to be twice as exhausted as Kathy even though she has done ten times the work that I have. (Not out of sheer laziness on my part. I’ve been busy playing performances of I Do I Do – meaning that Kathy has had to be on non-stop Lorelai Duty pretty much all weekend long, but looking like she has loved every minute of it.) Being an aunt comes SO naturally to her because she is so good with young children, and I will always love that about her- even as I envy that gift. I’ve pitched in as best I could, and even flew solo for a few minutes by taking Lorelai to the park and then for ice cream. But mostly this has been a joint effort, or my tireless wife carrying the ball for long stretches of time.
One thing that the three of us did together was attend a fascinating test session for service dogs, at the invitation of our friend Katie Nagao Kelso. She and her husband have been bringing their dog Hunter to training classes at Proper Paws University, and it was there that she learned about a program called Alpha which certifies dogs for work in schools, hospitals, nursing homes, libraries, and various care facilities. (This is not the same program as that which certifies dogs for service to the blind, deaf, epileptic, etc. – Those dogs undergo a different gauntlet of testing.) These dogs are tested to see how they do when confronted by surprises – like people doing odd things or people who are overly aggressive with their affection and interest – and how apt they are to remain attentive and obedient to their master’s commands even when all hell seems to be breaking loose around them.
We watched and actually participated in the testing of three different dogs – each testing taking nearly an hour to complete – and we were so glad we did it. One reason we were happy we came was because it was fun to see Lorelai doing pretty well with unfamiliar dogs- and she actually ended up spending quite a long time deep in “conversation” with a lovely dog named Cooper. He was not being tested but was there to participate in a test in which the dog and owner being tested meet another person with a dog (Cooper) and the test is to see how the tested dog does with another dog. In between tests, Cooper rested in a little tent-like cage in a small adjacent room- and it was so cute to overhear Lorelai in there, conversing with this lovely dog as though she had just met a new friend.
I ended up being the Academy Award winner for doing an exceptionally fine job portraying a developmentally disabled adult. In this particular test, I was supposed to walk in an arc-shaped line back and forth in front of the dog- staggering, gesturing awkwardly, and loudly vocalizing. And then after doing that for about 20 seconds, I was to revert to normal – and the crux of the test was to see if the dog being tested would be willing to freely interact with me or would it remain “spooked.” I especially remember how it felt to do this test with a beautiful, gentle golden retriever, and as I did my little staggering routine, you could just see that dog shrink back with this very concerned look in its eyes which seemed to say “uh oh- this human looks very dangerous.” And a few seconds later, when its master drew it forward to meet me (by this point, I was just standing there) the dog was clearly reluctant, stealing frequent glances at his master that seemed to say “I can’t believe you want me to meet this strange human. Let’s get out of here!” The dog didn’t quite flunk that particular test but was marked down rather significantly- and when we were done, the facilitator quietly suggested that I maybe tone it down a notch the next time around. At least they can’t say that I didn’t throw myself wholeheartedly into the role.
Speaking of throwing one’s self into a role, Kathy and I had fun with another test in which we had to pretend that we were heatedly arguing with each other about something – with loud voices, vigorous gestures, etc.- again with the dog close at hand, observing – to see if he or she would then be willing to approach us and greet us. We were brilliantly convincing – but not so scary that any of the dogs were reluctant to befriend us. (Maybe they thought that they could help us with our marriage.)
There was another test that we just watched – but it was fascinating all the same. In it, the test facilitator went up to the dog being tested and proceeded to be friendly to it in a completely obnoxious fashion- – – aggressively petting it, greeting it in a loud, screeching voice, breaking all of the rules about how to safely and politely approach an unfamiliar animal. It’s the kind of thing that a developmentally disabled adult might very well do, but any of us might do something similar, especially if the dog in question is especially cute and we momentarily forget the rules. It was interesting to watch the human in question- and how each of these three animals reacted…. to varying degrees gritting their teeth in frustration but all of them tolerating it with remarkable patience. The prime test came first when the dog was walked through a “crowd” which consisted of four of us criss-crossing the room…. one of us in a wheel chair, another with a walker, another walking while carrying a noisy plastic bag, someone else walking with a strange gait…. and the dogs had to be walked through without freaking out. There was a similar test where all of us came up to the dog and – simultaneously and with great energy – greeted the dog. Again, it was to see if the dog could tolerate that much intense attention – and all three dogs passed with flying colors.
Unfortunately, Lorelai was not allowed to participate in any of the tests because of insurance issues – much to her disappointment (she especially wanted to take over my role of the disabled adults because I got to wear a pair of colorful ski goggles) – but she enjoyed watching from the sidelines. . . eyes big as saucers at some points, when the adults seemed to be doing something especially crazy. I think that was part of what made this an intriguing scenario- all these adults and dogs “playing” together and this inquisitive six-year-old taking it all in and clearly eager for the day when she could be out there with the rest of us. And of course, there is something so lovely as well about the way in which this program draws dogs into our lives in new and meaningful ways beyond simple games of fetch. The dogs that graduate from this program go on to make a real difference for people who are lonely or depressed or simply in need of the unique sort of companionship and affection that the right kind of dog is so beautifully equipped to supply.