This past weekend was piled high with fun, thanks to the synod assembly for which I did music, the final performance of Puccini’s Gianni Schicchi, for which I was music director and accompanist, and the final Sunday for Pastor Steve Samuelson, our interim pastor at Holy Communion. But on top of all that was the tremendous fun of hosting Kathy’s Aunt Linda, a retired school teacher in St. Louis who visits us a couple of times a year and livens up our lives every time she comes. Kathy and I love having her in our home, partly because she melds so effortlessly into the fabric of our lives and is the kind of houseguest where we don’t have to worry about picking every bit of lint off of the sofa. She just doesn’t care about that sort of thing one bit and we love her for it.
We had all kinds of fun with her – visiting the UW-Parkside art fair, playing the Disney version of Scene It! with Loreleai (and getting our butts whipped), indulging in a luxurious meal at Kenosha’s finest restaurant, Mangia, and driving to Lake Geneva Sunday afternoon for a fun meal at Popeye’s (not the chicken place) and shopping. But for me the best part of the weekend was when all of us sat around our table for a couple of games.
First came Hot Tomato, which is basically a high tech game of Hot Potato in which you pass around a little plush tomato which quivers and laughs for an indeterminate amount of time when you push its nose. Someone chooses a category like “vegetables” – pushes its nose – and as the tomato starts laughing you pass it around the circle as fast as you can. . . but you only get to pass it when you have said a new word that fits the category. If you’re left holding the tomato when it stops laughing, you have to fall out of the circle – and you keep going with new categories until only one person, the winner, is left. It was an absolute blast, and we only played it because Lorelai remembered that we had it , and managed to find it in our game closet- a mild miracle in and of itself. But what made it a true joy was in watching little Lorelai play this game so well. True, we made sure not to choose a category like “elements on the periodic table” or “nations in the southern hemisphere” – but in the categories we chose like Vegetables, Fruits, Movies, Foods, Restaurants, Colors, Four-Legged Animals, she did absolutely great. (Much as I tried, I couldn’t get anyone to choose “opera singers” as their category.) And if there’s any way to chart the passage of time, just watch your niece who once upon a time grappled with the rules for Candyland and see how impressively she responds to a game like this, going toe-to-toe with fairly intelligent adults, and easily holding her own. Yup, she’s growing up.
And then came the Family Dinner Box of Questions – which is somewhat reminiscent of a board game from the early 70’s called the Ungame – which was rather revolutionary because there weren’t any winners or losers in the “game.” It was simply a vehicle for getting people talking about their lives and values by answering questions. I can remember feeling a little bit like a hippie-wannabe the first time my family played this – which, by the way, might have also been the last time my family played this. My recollection is that the Ungame never established itself as a central staple of the Berg household. And now that I read through the questions, I sort of see why: What really turns you on? What went through your mind when the last person shared? Say something about Love. What activity do you engage in that involves all of you: your mind, your body, and your soul? And my personal favorite: Say something about Cigarettes. (I kid you not. These are all real questions from the Ungame. I just fetched it from our basement and dusted it off in order to read some of the question cards. But I’m putting it back now before I develop the uncontrollable urge to put my hair in a ponytail and wear sandals and love beads. )
The Family Dinner Box of Questions feels so much fresher and more natural – and much more appropriate for players of all ages. In fact, we designated Lorelai as the reader of all the questions, and she not only read them correctly and clearly, but also understood them perfectly (except for not knowing what phobias are.) And they were great, thought- provoking questions like “who was the teacher or mentor who most powerfully influenced you – and how?” or “what is your greatest fear or phobia?” or “name a movie you could watch again and again and never grow tired of.” Around the table we went with each and every question and had an absolute ball. It’s so fun to see how differently we each would respond to a given question- like the one about our greatest fear. One person said Snakes- another said Having a Stroke- and someone else said they most fear the sensation of not being in physical control. Lorelai very earnestly answered that her biggest fear was of a stranger coming along and trying to take her away from her mom and dad. . . and in the wake of that answer, Polly and Mark decided to review what they had taught Lorelai about what to do in the unlikely event of such an attack. It was a bit sobering but also impressive and encouraging that Lorelai remembers the instructions of her mom and dad perfectly. Another question was of what historical figure you most want to meet — and it was so interesting to hear answers ranging from Shakespeare to Lincoln to Jesus (who was the biggest vote getter in our group.) We probably had the most fun with Name Your Favorite Amusement Park and your Favorite Ride (Lorelai and I both said It’s a Small World After All from Disney World, although she ultimately changed her vote to the Teacups after someone else had that as their choice) . . . and we had the most poignant time talking about the Teacher or Mentor who most powerfully affected us. (Lorelai answered that one, even though she really had only two teachers from which to choose.) But mostly, it just felt so good and so right to be gathered around that table, sharing about our lives so easily and freely. . . and somehow the best part was having our 6 – year -old niece reading the questions. Somehow that made it a little more serious as well as a lot more fun. And for sure, it was a game where every single one of us was a winner.
pictured above: Lorelai, Polly, and Bob in the midst of our time with the Family Dinner Box of Questions. By the way, the question cards are round with a picture of an apple pie on one side of them, I suppose to suggest that this kind of talk around the table is as nourishing and delicious as a piece of homemade apple pie. And they’re right.