If I could wave a magic wand and somehow compel people to sit themselves down in front of their television sets and watch a particular program of my choosing, I would do that tonight at 9:00. No, it’s not an opera! It’s an incredibly moving and thought-provoking documentary airing on the PBS series P.O.V. – a film titled “The Way We Get By.” The title does not exactly leap off of the page, which is why I fear that people will glide right past this when they see it on their program listings. (Hence the need for me to resort to magic.) And even if someone happens to read a short summary of the film, that might not adequately convey just how special this film is or even of what it’s really about.
This documentary was filmed in Bangor, Maine – and mostly takes place in the airport there, which is a major landing site for flights transporting U.S. troops both to and from Iraq and Afghanistan. There is a group of senior citizens in Bangor who have dedicated themselves to greeting each and every one of those flights – even the ones which land at 4 in the morning! – to thank the troops for their service. They began doing this in 2003 and by now have greeted more than one million troops passing through the airport either on their way to the Middle East or on their way back home to America. About 30 seniors manage to be on hand for nearly every flight- and about 200 other seniors are a more intermittent presence- but between them all, our troops landing in Bangor are made to feel very appreciated and even loved.
This film focuses on three of those troop greeters- Bill Knight, Jerry Mundy, and Joan Gaudet- and we see more than what they do at that airport. We also come to know each of them as human beings and especially come to know the sorrows and burdens which are part of their respective lives. One of them, Mr. Knight, is a somewhat crusty World War II veteran in his mid-80’s who is coping with financial troubles as well as with a recent diagnosis of prostate cancer. But he is at that airport without fail, and as you watch him greeting the troops and joking around with his fellow greeters, you would never imagine the pain that is part of his life. Another greeter, Mr. Mundy, is a veteran as well but with much more conflicted feelings about what we’re even doing in the Middle East- but those ambiguous feelings do not for an instant affect his affection for these troops or his appreciation for their service. The third greeter, Joan Gaudet, is the most normal senior citizen you can imagine, with plenty of aches and pains but a firm determination to press on. For her the matter of greeting troops becomes intensely personal when it becomes time for two of her grandchildren to be deployed to Afghanistan.
One of the hardest things to convey to someone who hasn’t seen this film is this: these three troop greeters are completely ordinary in almost every way. . . they seem so much like someone you might already know in your own life. (Jerry Mundy reminds me SO much of Kathy’s dad – not in his political views, but in his warm and outgoing personality and his easy rapport with everyone he meets. If Bob lived in Bangor, Maine I could very easily see him as another Jerry Mundy.) And yet these ordinary people seem extraordinary as well as we come to know them well and especially as we see them shoulder their respective burdens. Maybe a better way to say it is that these three senior citizens are vividly unique- there is nothing generic about them or their respective stories- and yet they are contending with the same sort of challenges and heartaches that catch up with all of us and are an inescapable part of human life. Bill Knight is a decorated veteran who has served his country with great distinction, and yet finds himself feeling that he has completely outlived his usefulness (and confesses those feelings with heartbreaking honesty.) Jerry Mundy lost his son when the youngster was just ten years old, and that loss is still tremendously painful to him- and then he suffers another loss during the course of the film which is almost as painful. Joan Gaudet is a widow who is fearful of so much – and very tender-hearted – to the point where she cannot bring herself to greet the troops who are on their way to the Middle East. She grows too emotional to be of any good in those situations. And yet, by the end of the film she finds herself compelled to be at the airport for such a departure because her own granddaughter is being deployed to Afghanistan. It is so moving to see this entirely ordinary woman trying to make sense of the extraordinary events overtaking her and her family.
And yet. . . Please don’t think that this film is a dreary drag. This film is about rising above your own troubles – and of finding joy and meaning by doing something nice for other people. That’s why the filmmakers titled it “The Way We Get By.” And these troop greeters are FULL of life. In every outward way, their lives are ridiculously simple compared to the lavish luxury of “The Real Housewives of Manhattan.” (or whatever that hideous reality program is called.) But by the time you’re done watching this film, you know who’s really rich. And it’s not those self-absorbed women with the limousines and furs eating lunch at fancy bistros in the heart of Manhattan. It’s these homespun, open-hearted folks in Bangor, Maine.
pictured above: Jerry Mundy, one of the troop greeters featured in the film, with some of the troops. Jerry has an exceptional gift for getting these guys to laugh- but behind the jokes is a very tender heart.