I secured permission from Kate Potter Barrow to tell this story, which begins with something very nasty and ends up with something very nice.
First the nasty: One morning this past week, Kate agreed to take some Walden Middle School students kayacking. (My spell check says I’m spelling that wrong, but I can’t for the life of me figure out how else to spell that.) It was not the best weather and she was feeling a little tired from all of the end-of-the-year stuff that keeps teachers so busy, but ultimately she couldn’t disappoint these students, who really wanted to do this. (That is SO Kate.) Unfortunately, when she returned to her car from her time on the river, she found her driver’s window completely smashed out, and her purse, prescription sun glasses, and brand new iPod had been stolen from underneath the driver’s seat where she had hidden them from view. All done in broad daylight. Lovely.
Of course Kate spent the rest of the day on the telephone canceling her charge cards, arranging for a new driver’s license, contacting her insurance company . . .all the things one has to do when some #$%^& has stolen your wallet and all of its contents. But as she said at one point over the weekend, what is almost worse than the actual theft- which in this case was bad enough- is the sense of violation which one hears so much about. And in Kate’s case, the violation went beyond the obvious. She was so excited about a big trip she has coming up, and this incident felt almost like someone had gone out of their way to steal all of the joy from that – both in all the headaches and hassles it caused as well as just the way in which it makes the world look a whole lot darker.
Now the Nice: Long before this nasty thing occurred, several of Kate’s closest friends (including my wife) realized that she wouldn’t be around this summer for a certain landmark birthday (I crossed a similar threshold back in February) and decided to throw her a little surprise birthday celebration this past weekend, with the cooperation of Jeff and Anneka. (They could not have achieved the surprise without great help from such co-conspirators.)
What did change after the nasty incident last week was the gift that these particular friends chose to give Kate. They knew that she was especially heartbroken to have had her wonderful iPod stolen because she had planned to take it with her on her big trip, loaded up with all kinds of her favorite songs. So these friends decided that there was nothing better to give Kate on this landmark birthday than a new iPod . . . and that’s what they did. I had nothing directly to do with that, of course, but I am pleased that I made sure that it was the last gift Kate opened that night because I knew it would be an incredibly powerful and emotional moment for her – and for the friends who gave it to her. And I think that as long as I live I will never forget the love that filled that room the moment that Kate pulled that iPod out of the gift bag and realized what her friends had done for her. They had not only replaced a thing that had been stolen, but much more important was how they had restored the joy that had been stolen in that act. (She said it far more eloquently than I just did as she gave a big hug to each of those generous, caring friends.) And when it’s all said and done, I can’t think of a more important thing for a friend to do than that.
pictured above: the moment when Kate realized that she had just been given a new iPod. I love the look on her face.