Yesterday was the finale of what has turned out to be a rather protracted birthday celebration- although I don’t feel terribly guilty about it, since you only turn 50 once in your life. (Of course, you also turn 49 once – or any other birthday, for that matter – so I probably need to come up with better justification than that for the epic dimensions of this birthday observance, which pretty much ran a full week, Sunday to Sunday, with something or other each and every day to remind me that I’ve crossed the half-century mark.) It was my wife who came up with the idea that the gathering with her family (it sounds dumb to say that by now, because they’re my family too. . . but you know what I mean) should happen at what’s pretty much my favorite restaurant on the planet: Ted‘s Montana Grille. And everyone was agreeable , so that’s exactly what we did- and once again Ted’s came through with an absolutely sterling meal- complete with delicious food, flawless service, and just the right touch of exoticism for me. (I almost always order the bison meat loaf- which I adore- and it feels wildly adventurous to me. It isn’t, of course- it’s meat loaf. But for those of us not interested in Sea Urchin Souffle or Jellied Possum Tongue with Toadstool Sauce, this is more than enough excitement.) And there’s also all kinds of wonderful little touches like the old fashioned paper straws, which make Diet Coke taste even better!
It was great just to be together, especially after a week that had been rather crazy for just about all of us- but I think in some ways my favorite part of the whole afternoon was when we surprised both Polly and Lorelai with completely unexpected gifts. . . a little something for Polly in recognition of her being named KUSD’s high school teacher of the year . . . and a little something for Lorelai just because we couldn’t resist – a walking, talking, squawking Donald Duck. It was Aunt Kathy who saw this at the Hallmark store and had to buy it for Lorelai- but once she had demonstrated it to me, it was I who decided that we couldn’t possibly wait until Easter to give it to her. So we unveiled it for her yesterday- and she seemed to be genuinely amazed that in the midst of a celebration of my birthday, she would get a present. And, of course, it’s great that Lorelai doesn’t take an unexpected treat like this for granted, with the sense of entitlement that seems so pervasive in the world these days. (I’m mindful of what Miss Manners says in response to well- meaning parents who believe that every child at a birthday party should have gifts to unwrap. Miss Manners says that any child who grows up believing that they are to be the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral is destined for a very unhappy life.) She was thrilled to get this present, which made it all the more fun to give it to her. . .
And it was a classic case of giving being even better than receiving. Don’t get me wrong- I LOVE getting gifts… and this particular birthday has been positively lavish. But yesterday was a reminder that there is something even more enduring – more profound – more penetrating – about the pleasure of giving something when you know and can see with your own eyes that it is generating a little bit of extra joy in this world- at least in the life of this wonderful little girl. She has been given a lot in her young life, but nothing quite so precious as her genuinely appreciative spirit. That in and of itself is worth a thousand stuff Donald Ducks dressed as the Easter Bunny ( even one who can walk across the table, and squawks “put me down!” when you grab it by its ears.) Even better than the gift itself is the gratitude with which it is received. That’s the part that matters- the part that makes us happy. And I am so grateful for anything that / or anyone who reminds me of that, because that’s a lesson worth relearning even at the crusty age of 50.
pictured above: I love this picture, which I actually snapped not too long before we departed the restaurant. Lorelai had opened her present well before this, but you can see the genuine delight in her eyes.