The last few days at Carthage have been exhausting for me- not because they have been exceptionally busy or even particularly stressful – but the work I have been doing with my voice students has been especially taxing . . . although I mean that in the best sense of the word. Tomorrow (Friday) is the annual NATS competition, in which just over thirty Carthage students – including ten of my own students – will be competing against singers from colleges and universities from all across the state of Wisconsin. Most of the students of mine who are going are freshmen who have absolutely no idea what this is all about or what it will be like— and I have been working so hard to ensure that each and every one of these young men will walk into the music building at the University of Wisconsin-Whitewater as well-prepared as they can possibly be. It’s mostly because I want them to have as rich and fulfilling an experience as possible- but of course, another part of me … the more selfish or self-serving part of me … wants them to sing well and handle themselves well because that is at least partly a reflection on what kind of a teacher I am. So for both of those reasons and more, I feel like I have been putting 110% energy and effort in each and every voice lesson- listening with exceptional intensity for even the most subtle shortcomings and then trying to balance all of that constructive criticism and correction with the need to praise and encourage. What a tricky balancing act that is. I found that to be especially true of one young man who will remain nameless – who is singing one of my favorite pieces, “The Call” by Ralph Vaughan Williams. I think SO highly of this young man and he wants so badly to sing this song as well as he possibly can – so I have been all but drowning him with suggestions of how all kinds of different things can be better – – – but at his last lesson, we both sort of figured out together that at some point it’s time to just relax and sing and enjoy the experience – and let what is going to happen just happen. That is very very hard for me to do – to let go, and to encourage the student to let go as well. But it has to happen. You work hard – you prepare yourself thoroughly – and then you just have to do it.
I guess what I’m learning through all this is that I have a lot of Mother Hen in me – far more than I ever would have thought. I found myself this week firing off one email after another to my voice students, reminding them about finding something nice to wear – or reminding them to have original music (not xerox copies) for all of their pieces – or reminding them to make sure they have a ride to the contest- etc. etc. etc. in other words, treating them as though they were three weeks past using training wheels on their bike. I think my colleagues on the voice faculty are much more inclined to entrust their students with the responsibility to remember all the things about which I can’t seem to stop fretting. Maybe it’s that I think about what an absent – minded space cadet I was as a high schooler and college student and erroneously assume most of my students to be similarly inclined, likely to lose their head if it weren’t attached to their body. But in fact, very few of my voice students are anything like I was, and most of them walk into their lessons armed with palm pilots and day planners and all manner of organizational tools. So I am going to bed tonight with fairly strong certainty that all of my students will appear in Whitewater tomorrow dressed nicely, music in hand, ready to sing and able to represent their school with the utmost skill and assurance. That has always been the case before- and I am especially certain that it will the case again this year, thanks to the exceptionally fine group of young men it is my pleasure to be teaching. I am already so proud of them – and whatever happens tomorrow, I know I will still be proud of them.
pictured: playing for one of my voice students, Ben Kuttler, back in February. (I was carrying 50 more pounds back then.)