I am back from Nashville and the NATS national convention, but that is the last thing I feel like writing about today. Maybe tomorrow. Today, I have to write about the stunning loss suffered by our good friends, Bob and Val Conner, this past weekend. Late Friday night, Bob and Val’s oldest son, Daniel, was killed in a car accident. Val had just been out with my wife and Kate, Jean Veltman and Leslie celebrating my wife’s birthday, and I cannot even imagine what it must have felt like to go from that kind of joy to this kind of sorrow in the space of one awful ring of the doorbell.
Speaking of rude awakenings, I can hardly imagine what it was like for my wife to receive a call from Kate Barrow at 1:37 in the morning, receiving this kind of heartbreaking and shocking news. As terrible as that was, however, I think it would have been ten times more terrible if she had been with me in Nashville and not able to be with her dear friend in her sorrow. Hard as I know it was, I’m glad that Kathy was here, where she needed to be. And I have to say that Val’s close friends have rallied around her with such loving devotion, careful sensitivity and sturdy strength. No one could have a finer circle of friends rallying around them.
Speaking of friends, they came out by the hundreds last night to Daniel’s visitation. . . with people standing in line for ninety minutes and more for the chance to speak with the family. The visitation was supposed to finish up about 8, but there were so many people that it had to go until 9:22. I know because I was one of the last people through the line. As I greeted Val with words about how many people loved them, she said something about how she never realized she even knew this many people, let alone that this many people loved them and wanted to stand with them in their grief.
Our church was nearly full this afternoon for Daniel’s funeral, which was as vibrant and unique as he was. Pastor Jeff delivered a powerful and sensitive sermon- there were beautifully expressed thoughts from Daniel’s siblings and his best friend (who said at one point “Daniel loved to love”) and then there was the singing of Caritas. I cannot begin to say how proud I was of my wife and of Kate that they were able to sing so beautifully today even while so heartbroken for their dear friend. We sang several pieces, but I think the one that I am especially glad we shared was actually Carole King’s “You got a Friend.” The Bergs, Barrows and Conners had just heard James Taylor at Ravinia, and this was one of the highlights of that incredible night- and that’s what made me think of it last night as one more way for us to let the Conners know how much we love them and wanted to be with them in their terrible loss.
But as beautiful as that song is and as well as we managed to sing it, there’s no doubt that what many people will be remembering most vividly from this service was the music which came at the very very end. Pastor Jeff did the words of commendation, asked for a few moments of silence in memory of Daniel . . . and then, softly at first but then growing, the congregation heard over the speakers the unmistakable sound of Bob Marley singing “Don’t Worry about a thing. . . ‘cause every little thing’s gonna be all right,” one of Daniel’s favorite songs. And what made it even more perfect was that quite spontaneously, most of the congregation began singing along to the recording – and it filled that room with such warmth. In the bulletin, this was listed simply as A Message From Daniel.
pictured: This is a happy scene from Friday night, June 20th, when Kathy and I went to Greek Fest with Bob and Val – and we were joined for supper by Daniel as well as our friends Jim and Joleen Carlson. I took a bunch of pictures that night, but deleted quite a few of them. . . including a number of shots of Daniel. Little did I know that a week and half later, we would be gathering for his funeral. Had I known, I would have kept every one of those pictures. But at least there is this shot of Daniel (far left) and the Carlsons enjoying this delicious meal and the fun of each other’s company. I am so glad that we had that time with Daniel, since he’s someone Kathy and I did not know particularly well – and this time with him at Greek Fest left us with lovely memories and with a much better sense of why he was so loved. . . and is so missed. . . . by everyone who knew him as family or friend.