Our home is graced this morning with the presence of our niece, Lorelai- and as much fun as it is for me to play with her, I think I even more enjoy just sitting on the other side of the room and eavesdropping on Lorelai and her Aunt Kathy. They find an endless array of things to laugh about and Lorelai just sounds so happy – and so does Kathy. They started their morning together up in our guest bedroom so Lorelai wouldn’t have to deal with our overly friendly golden retrievers. (She’s a little more comfortable with dogs the size of Rosie and Lily back home – who are miniature dachsunds. Goldens are just a little more dog than Lorelai is really interested in dealing with – especially goldens as friendly as ours.) Kathy and Lorelai scrunched up under the covers, surrounded by just about every plush toy in the house, and watched the Mickey Mouse’s Something Or Other, followed by a healthy dose of Little Einstein’s. But lest you think that TV is all we do around here, they’ve moved on to our indoor tent and have been roughhousing ever since. I sit here delighting in Lorelai’s joy – and marveling at my wife’s wonderful rapport with her. Lorelai loves us both , without a doubt , but she genuinely enjoys her Aunt Kathy and the two of them have the greatest time together.
And here I am at the dining room table, writing about it instead of being there right in the thick of it. It reminds me of how people made fun of writer Bob Greene back in the early 80s when he wrote a couple of books about the joys of fatherhood- but one had the distinct sense that he was spending most of his time in front of his word processor writing about fatherhood than he did actually living it. So I’m cutting this short to join them for awhile. . .
And now Lorelai’s gone. The best moment of the morning was when Kathy and I realized that Lorelai was in the tent, all by herself, singing “There were ten in the bed and the little one said ‘roll over, ‘roll over.’ So they all rolled over and one fell out . . . “ There is something sort of miraculous about our ability to entertain ourselves- sometimes by creating a whole world of our own- and it’s really neat when a child gets to that point when they can really do that in a way that they couldn’t before. I suppose that’s the gift of imagination taking wing. And that’s probably one of the best things about Polly and Mark as parents- on a long list of ‘best things’ – that they have all of these wonderful ways of engaging Lorelai’s creative juices without nurturing her to death as though the entrance exams to Harvard were next week. They make it all such fun. So does Kathy. (Judging from the results, my siblings are doing a similarly good job with their respective offspring- It’s just that I don’t get to see them in action as parents the way I get to watch and admire Polly and Mark on a regular basis.)
Last night we were with them at Chili’s- and it was a typically good time, except that Lorelai was a bit of a handful here and there. . . nothing bad at all, especially compared to some young hellions that you see in restaurants. Next to them, Lorelai is a perfect little angel. But she requires a fair amount of mealtime maintenance, shall we say, as do all children her age, which Mark and Polly offer so easily and efficiently. But at one point I leaned over to them and said, in all sincerity, “you know how much I adore your daughter . . . I would walk through fire for her. . . but I don’t think I could stand this part of being a parent.” I mean the part where you can’t just sit and eat a meal without cheerleading your child to eat, cleaning up their spills, cutting up their food, etc. I guess that says something about my priorities in life that I would list “disruption of my meals” as the single most challenging part of being a parent. Talk about an embarrassing admission.
But then she comes over and life is a Disney movie all over again. And now that she’s gone back home, the house feels mighty quiet. A little too quiet, if you want to know the truth.
Pictured above: Our niece Lorelai, who isn’t really a baby anymore – cuddling up with a couple of good friends including Winnie the Pooh and a stark naked Raggedy Ann.