It was a heck of a way to ruin what had been a truly lovely morning spent with returning music students participating in the alumni choir and alumni band for Carthage’s homecoming. Mr. Noble originally was not going to be here for the weekend, but then changed his plans so he could do the alumni choir- and he was at his masterful best. It was so fun to look over that group and see Kathy and Polly and others reveling in the fun of making music with Weston Noble himself – and of course a pleasure to hear such superb singing. And after that, I had a quick rehearsal with one of the best instrumentalists Carthage has ever produced, a euphonium player named Andrew Geocaris who graduated a year ago and who will play tomorrow on the alumni recital. But then I had to hurry off right after that in order to get to Holy Communion and unlock it for a Racine Theater Guild rehearsal scheduled to begin there at 12 noon sharp. . .
That was the plan. Unfortunately, Carthage security had other ideas. When I got to the edge of campus, I found a line of ten cars in front of me – all wanting to leave- but finding their way blocked by barricades and a security officer forbidding us from passing. It was because of the homecoming parade, although the parade was not yet underway. And much as we pleaded, we were told in no uncertain terms that it was not possible to leave the campus until the parade had run its course. Every entrance/exit was blocked and inaccessible.
I’ve had some frustrating moments in my life, and since I’m not a particularly patient person, I’ve been close to the boiling-over point any number of times- but this is perhaps the most furious I have ever been . . . and without any doubt I’ve never blown my stack like I did today. (Most of the time I am a timid enough soul that I bury my anger towards someone and then kick the dog when I get home. Kidding! I’m kidding! What I meant to say is that I usually grit my teeth, bury my anger, and then come home and throw a lamp at the wall.) I think part of what happened today is that I was part of a mob of sorts – a bunch of people as angry as I was or angrier- – – including one of my voice students, a member of the Carthage Choir, and several singers in the alumni choir, all who were looking at me to do something about this. (It was like a scene from Les Miz!) So I was in this guys face, saying things like “this is an outrage!” and meaning every word of it – and using my voice in its most stentorian fashion- but to no avail. . . although I finally persuaded the guy to call his supervisor, who said “tell ‘em they’re out of luck.” By that point we could hear that the parade had gotten underway on the other end of campus, but the parade had to make its way all the way through campus on Campus Drive and then come around Sheridan Road before it would cross where we were- but STILL they would not allow us to pass. Katie Nagao tried too, threatening to call the Kenosha Police. Someone else asked what would happen if they were having a medical emergency. Believe me, we tried everything short of tying explosives to ourselves and threatening to blow up the whole mess to kingdom come. And by the way, by the time it got to this point there were probably ten cars behind mine. . . a mix of students and alumni, all wanting nothing more than to be allowed to leave campus. (And there were still ten cars in front me.) But no – it was as though we had suddenly been transported to Communist Bulgaria, circa 1949. I finally took out my cell phone to call Doug Instines to let him know that I was not going to be able to get to church in time to open the place up -although explaining it to him just made me even angrier. It was as though hearing myself describe the situation made the absurdity of it all the more infuriating. By the way, I just now thought of what this felt like, We were trapped just like passengers on an airliner that for some reason can’t take off and which is left sitting on the runway with the passengers stranded inside.
Eventually, Katie and I both turned around and drove ourselves to the top of the hill and parked right next to Campus Drive, where the parade passing- figuring that as soon as the parade had finally passed by, the barricades would come down and we could be on our way. But no, the guard there said that the barricades could only be moved by a particular security official- and when the parade had been over for 4 or 5 minutes with no sign of said security official, Katie and another alumni finally moved the barricade themselves- – – and we proceeded down Campus Drive towards the south exit- only to be told that this end of campus drive was completely closed off until midnight tonight. So I turned my car around, with a good twenty cars behind me who were going to have to do the same thing, but not before I yelled to the three security guards “be prepared to deal with some really angry people – and I’m one of them!” And as I drove north on Campus Drive I was thinking some of the darkest thoughts that have ever crossed this normally sunny mind. And then when I saw Kathy, Polly, Mark, Lorelai and Brian, I pulled to the curb- rolled down my passenger window- and let out a scream that probably traumatized my little niece into two phobias and a stutter. But I had to let off a little more steam or God help me I think I would have driven my little Honda into the first tree I saw. Fortunately, the northernmost exit by that point had been opened – and I was at last on my way at 12:16 . . . about forty five minutes after the whole mess had begun.
All’s well that ends well . . . it was a gorgeous day and the dancers (who were advised by Doug via cell phone of my predicament) started their rehearsal out in the parking lot – and about the time they were ready to run things with music, I appeared to let them in . . . and slowly but surely my blood pressure eased off from its high reading of 365/ 285. I hope it eases further before I start writing emails to the powers that be. . . although I think some frustrated alums will actually be taking care of that.
In the middle of all this – almost like an angel – retired Professor Duddley Riggle appeared to say hi. If anyone on earth belongs with the Two Saints I wrote about yesterday, it would be Professor Riggle- probably the most beloved and universally admired Carthage professor in the last thirty years. I would like to think that the fact that he crossed my path when he did was a bit of Divine Providence – an angelic intervention which occurred just when Greg Berg was about to go postal.
pictured: Carthage alum Katie Nagao at the barricades on campus drive- and that green car is my Honda. This is about halfway through the “ordeal” (which might strike you as an overly dramatic term, but that’s what it felt like) so this is at the point when we have driven up from down below to what we thought would be a point of quicker resolution. By the way, you can tell from the picture that this was a rather slow- moving parade with some huge gaps in it. And by the way, note to Carthage homecoming planners: there is nothing remotely fun and festive about a parade which you find yourself forced to watch because they won’t let you leave campus. This is the worst thing to happen to school spirit since the Redmen football team lost to the Milliken chess club, 42-7.