Well, maybe not a million. . . but this was one of those days where I felt like I was walking around with a “trip me” sign taped to my backside – as though I had blundered into the middle of an I Love Lucy episode . . . and it got so bad that eventually I couldn’t help but laugh.
Mishap #1 happened as I rushed through the Georgetown Convenience Store, hoping to quickly buy a New York Times while my car was filling up with gas. An inexperienced clerk was having a terrible time checking people out, and he had to keep swiping things a second time and then press all these buttons before the price would register. . . and just have I was going to throw the paper down and forget it, it was finally my turn and I hoped by that point he would have figured out what the problem was. Nope- he had even more trouble with my order and at one point was trying to charge me $8.04 instead of $3.04. So by the time the transaction was finished, I was really running late for the radio station and feeling rushed and frustrated. So I got out to the car, turned the key in the ignition, roared off – and heard a big clunk behind me. I looked behind- and I’d forgotten to pull the gas nozzle out of my gas tank. Fortunately, no serious harm was done. (It would have been fun if I’d managed to tear the gas pump off its foundation and dragged it behind me. That would have gotten me a few seconds on America’s Funniest Home Videos (assuming there were surveillance cameras on duty.)
Mishap #2 – Part one of the morning show today was an interview I recorded with Alan Alda- – yup, THAT Alan Alda! It was pretty exciting to get to interview him for the second time in a year and a half and he was just as interesting and nice as the first time around. Part two was a Pavarotti tribute and as the Alda CD was playing, I was busy lining up my Pavarotti CDs and trying to figure out what to play. Somehow in the midst of that, I managed to hit the pause button on the wrong CD- and managed to stop the Alda recording right in the middle of the interview. So then I had to quickly go on the mic in the middle of the dead air and announced – “we are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stand by.” I used to always say “technical difficulties beyond our control” but now I only say that when it’s literally true. And in this case it wasn’t. And then I had to quickly recue the interview as quickly as I could, hoping that there weren’t listeners at home turning off their radios or changing stations out of frustration. I’m sure the cueing time didn’t last much longer than 45 seconds- but it felt like HOURS of dead air! And why did it have to happen in the middle of an interview which I know attracted more listeners than is usual.
Mishap#3 – I wanted to be at chapel today, but got away a little late from the station, so by the time I walked into Siebert, they were already singing the first hymn. I setttled in right next to Gary Williams, throwing down my stuff on the pew, and sang the hymn “Spirit of Gentleness” . Upon the hymn’s completion, I sat down only to feel something strange and wet underneath me. . . and Gary’s strong arm grabbing me instinctively like a dad keeping his child from hurting himsefl. It turns out that I had started to sit down on my large diet pepsi from Taco Bell. . . and he prevented me from crushing it completely. But I sat on it enough to have a nicely wet bottom. And believe me, it is really tough to look intelligent after having sat on a large diet pepsi. . . in the middle of chapel no less.
Mishap #4 – Then for a nice long time everything was okay . . . I taught several lessons that went well – we had a nice meeting with all voice students. . . all seemed well . . . and then at 2:15 I ran out to my car to grab a set of CDs I needed for my 2:30 class, and that’s when I saw that one of my back tires was flat. Yay. This is my second flat tire within the last six months- and in both cases it was the back passenger side tire. I ran back up the hill with my CDs and taught Popular Music in America, and I told the students there that they needed to be exceptionally well behaved or I was probably going to lose it. And they must have believed me because they were perfect angels. And as soon as class was done, I was back down at the bottom of the hill- changing the tire and doing a slow burn the whole time. Actually, one advantage to having two flat tires in half a year is that by the second time around, you get to be pretty fast and efficient, and indeed I had the tire completely changed within ten minutes. By the way, if you have to have a flat tire, try not to have it on gravel. It feels SO good to lay on gravel while fixing a flat. I had warned Peter Dennee to tell Mr. Noble that I was probably going to be late for rehearsal – but in fact, I walked into the choir room with a minute to spare. . . . then realized that I my hands were almost completely black from the tire-changing, so I paid a quick visit to the washroom.
I’ve now enjoyed several hours without incident, but I’m trying to stay away from sharp knives, firearms, lawn mowers, or anything else which might do me harm. And I will echo Scarlett O”Hara’s immortal line from Gone with teh Wind . . . “After all, tomorrow is another day.” I hope so; I’m not anxious to repeat this one.
Actually, I have to say that as much as I felt like a gray cloud was following me all day long, this was not as bad a day as some people have had. We have someone in our life who recently had a truly terrible day – I can’t say anything more about that here – but it was worse than a hundred flat tires or a thousand wet behinds. And as I was laying in the gravel this afternoon, fixing the flat, it finally occurred to me . . . “This is a pain. . . but it doesn’t hold a candle to what ****** is going through.” It’s interesting how life teaches us its lessons.
pictured: my flat tire- – – except that something about the camera angle seems to obscure the fact that it’s a flat tire. So trust me – this tire was completely flat. I know- it’s becoming a familiar sight for me.