I just got back from our Tre Ore Good Friday service at Holy Communion, during which pastors from various churches around the downtown area take turns speaking on the Seven Last Words of Christ. It’s always interesting to hear different preachers from different traditions (with different preaching styles) in our pulpit. . . but then Pastor Jeff begins speaking and I am reminded of why I so deeply admire him as a preacher. His sermon was beautifully crafted- and one line in particular really stays with me, although I can’t quite remember in what context he said these words: “I am still amazed.”
It occurs to me that nothing is sadder than losing one’s sense of amazement…. and in contrast to my long list of shortcomings and faults (I don’t have time or the space on my hard drive to list them all here) I think one thing about myself which I like and hope to keep forever is my capacity to be amazed. Where does that come from? I have absolutely no idea. Have I always been like this? I’m not sure. But it strikes me as the best way to cherish life’s blessings rather than allow them to pass by like so much blurry scenery viewed from a speeding car.
I feel like one person who reminds me about this in an interesting way is Marshall. Often when we are together, I might be telling him about something and will start to get so excited that he actually starts laughing at me- not because I’m weird (or not entirely for that reason) but because he seems to take delight in that part of my personality. (Maybe it drives other people nuts.) He also says that when I am in the midst of one of my impassioned soliloquies, I will often get this excited look on my face that will remind him so much of my mom. That always makes me feel really happy when he says that- as though this is a way in which my mom is still with me / or that this side of my personality perhaps comes from her.
And what is so amazing? The list is limitless. Lately I find myself amazed with the gift of our senses – sight, hearing, taste, smell. It’s not so much that I’m amazed at that gorgeous sunset or amazed at the magnificent Nile Scene from Verdi’s Aida- although I am – but rather that I am amazed as much as anything that my eyeballs and optic nerves allow me to see sunsets – or that my ear canals and those intricate interlocking bits of cartilage in it allow me to hear Verdi. I am amazed at our capacity for memory how, for instance,my friend Henrietta- in her 90s- can clearly remember all kinds of small details from the earliest days of her teaching career, almost seventy years ago. I am amazed and grateful that I can smell the beef stew that my wife is cooking right now – and that soon I can sit down and taste it and savor it in all its splendor. And I am amazed at how good people can be – and generous – and inspiring. I suppose I’m also amazed at our capacity to be petty – or short-sighted – or just plain stupid . . . but that’s another matter!
The picture above is of Lorelai at Disney Land, watching the evening parade. . . and I love the way it captures that sense of being absolutely mesmerized. I’m glad that Kathy and I have some great children in our lives who demonstrate this quality in so many ways. But I’m also thankful for the friends in our lives who never cease to be amazed by the good things we are given.