One of the things I most deeply appreciate about teaching at Carthage is how I’ve come to love not just my students – but also the parents and grandparents who helped shape them into such fine young people. Some of them are among the most interesting, delightful people I’ve ever known, and when students graduate and move on to the next stage of their lives, I experience a two-fold loss…. because it’s both the student and their families who are gone. A tiny few come back for an occasional Carthage Christmas Festival after their child or grandchild has graduated, but it’s a red letter occasion because it’s so rare. Most seem to evaporate, never to be seen again. It’s just the way it is.
That’s one reason why I am so glad for those exceptional cases in which the family of a voice students remains a part of my life for one reason or another, even after the student in question has gone on to other things in other places. That’s especially possible when the student is from Racine or Kenosha and the ties can be more easily sustained. One such student is a gifted tenor named Scott Frost, whom I taught during his days at Bullen Middle School and Tremper High School before he went off to college at UW- Stevens Point. Scott comes from a marvelous, close-knit family and it was a tremendous joy to get to know them over the years as they supported Scott in one musical endeavor after another. And it wasn’t just Scott making beautiful music; I also had the pleasure of accompanying his older brother Kyle, who was a terrific trumpet player. From the first time I worked with them, I was impressed with what mature, responsible and appreciative young men they were; it was an absolute joy to collaborate with them. And at every single Solo & Ensemble competition, their mom and dad and the grandparents would be there- and I was always especially impressed that the two grandmothers… Grandma Frost and Grandma Akin… were such good friends with each other. In so many families, there might be a tentative, cautious sort of cordiality at best – but these two were the best of friends. Many was the time that I would watch them talking and would think to myself, “I wish all grandmothers got along as famously as these two do.”
This afternoon was the funeral for Dolores Akin and I was deeply touched and honored when the family called and asked if I would be willing to be the pianist for the service – which meant playing for several different grandchildren who would be offering up their musical gifts as part of the memorial. It also meant that I got to meet Scott’s Uncle Steve for the first time and play for him as well, as he sang Malotte’s Lord’s Prayer (and quite beautifully, I might add.) A cousin of Scott’s sang “Amazing Grace” and Scott’s brother Kyle played John Ylvasaker’s “Borning Cry” on the flugelhorn with great expressiveness. As for Scott, they decided that he should sing an especially lovely setting of the Prayer of St. Francis (“Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace.”) It was something which Scott sang with a national Honors Choir, and Scott’s grandmother (who was a chaperone for the trip) especially loved that particular piece. Needless to say, it was incredibly difficult- especially when he got to the words “it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.” As Scott’s voice wavered ever so slightly in that passage, and as he fought off the grief, I saw him sort of hug himself, the way one might if you were cold- and within a few moments he had regained his composure and finished the song strongly and confidently. It was a beautiful and courageous performance, and as Scott returned to his place in the pew, Kyle was waiting for him with the kind of reassuring bear hug that only a loving older brother can give. That moment in and of itself was very moving as well.
There were lots of beautiful touches to the funeral- including a beautiful sermon and moving eulogies from all three children – but what I want to specifically mention is what all of the members of the family were wearing as they greeted the hundreds of people who came to the visitation right before the funeral. Each and every one of them, including the guys, wore a piece of her jewelry- because, in the words of the presiding minister, Mrs. Akin loved to wear jewelry because she loved sparkle. And it hadn’t to do with pretentiousness or putting on airs or being anxious to look elegant. It was just that she liked to treat pretty much every single situation as a Special Occasion, which warranted the wearing of jewelry. And so to honor that, each member of the family wore one of her favorite pieces of jewelry. And at the back of the sanctuary, amidst the photographs on display, there was some sort of sphere which was festooned with still more pieces of her jewelry. But one of the main points of the sermon was that Dolores Akin sparkled not only in the jewelry she wore… but even more importantly in the way she lived life with such joy and gratitude, and in the way she genuinely cared about others – even in the difficult last months of her life as she struggled with the illness that finally claimed her. She remained her own beautiful self, right to the end.
As I played piano for this service honoring the memory of this vibrant and generous woman, I also found myself feeling so grateful that being Scott’s voice teacher and Kyle’s accompanist (a great pleasure, in and of itself) had in turn given me the chance to know this remarkable family so much better than I otherwise would have – and that I had so many opportunities to enjoy for myself the unique, inspiring sparkle of Grandma Akin.
pictured above: A display of Mrs. Akin’s jewelry, which was with various photographs and other mementos of her life.