Today was the big farewell for Rev. Jeff Barrow, the senior pastor at Holy Communion for the past 18 years, and as I look back on the day, I am most struck by the difference between the morning church services and the afternoon banquet and program. The morning was pretty much spent crying our collective eyes out (the youth choir sold small packages of kleenix as a fundraiser, and made a mint!) while the afternoon was a time to laugh and smile . . . and I am so glad that the day offered both ends of the emotional gamut, both to all of us and also to Pastor Jeff. Had this day been tipped entirely one direction or the other, we would have been poorer for it. Instead, it’s as though we were given the chance to feel absolutely everything we needed to feel, and in the deepest sort of way.
Church was packed today – especially first service – and both services lasted one hour and forty minutes, which even for Holy Communion (famous for its lengthy services) may be a record-breaker. But not a single person I talked to seemed to mind in the least. . . and at least for me, the time absolutely flew by. And we had all hands on deck . . . the senior choir, youth choir, sunday school choir, bell choir, and Caritas. . . to make it a musical smorgasbord worthy of such an important occasion.
And what felt especially miraculous was how many moments were so perfectly fitting. For instance, Kate Barrow asked if Caritas couldn’t please sing a favorite song of hers (and mine) called “This Day” – which has exquisite lyrics about making sure that we make the most of each day’s opportunities to love each other. The words of the last verse are: This day is frail … It will pass by … So before it’s too late to recapture the time, let us share love…. let us share God … before this day is gone. We sang through it Saturday afternoon at our house and by the end we were hopelessly blubbering, prompting Kathy to insist that we sing it from the back balcony, since singing it in front of a grief-stricken congregation would be absolutely impossible. But logistically, that meant that we had to sing the song immediately after Jeff’s sermon… and it turns out that he preached on I Corinthians 13. So as we sang that song, there was this amazing sense that it was absolutely meant to be… the perfect song for that particular moment. (And no tears shed by us, at least until we were done with the song.)
One moment that I expected would be really tough was when I sang a song of mine called “Caleb’s Song” (you can hear it on my Listen page) that really hits me in the emotional solar plexus, even on a normal day- let alone on an occasion like this one. The words are sung by someone looking back on their life and wondering if they have lived faithfully (“Did I make a difference- Did I share some light- Did I bring some comfort in somebody’s night? Did I plant some flowers? Did I sow some seeds? Did I help a stranger? Did I see another’s need?” etc.) As I began playing the introduction and wondered if I was going to manage to get through the song emotionally intact, I suddenly noticed someone in my direct line of sight who was paying absolutely no attention to the song. . . whispering to their neighbor, snickering, etc. and just that little bit of Grrrr
kept my sadness at bay and allowed me to get through the song. (It’s not that you want to be emotion-less as you sing, but it’s no fun trying to sing a song with a lump the size of a basketball in your throat.) So to this inattentive person, I say – oddly enough – Thank You!
The biggest emotional wallop of the morning came with the musical surprise I blogged about on the 28th – and now I can say without hesitation that the song in question was James Taylor’s “Shower the People you love with love.” And this is how we did it: Towards the end of first service, we did the customary Passing of the Peace, which of course today was an especially moving moment. As Jeff made his way down the center aisle towards the back of the church, sharing the peace with as many people as he could, the members of the senior choir, youth choir, and sunday school choir quietly made their way to the front of the church and positioned themselves on the stairs of the chancel – and just off to the side was Tom Hagemann, with his guitar. . . and as he began to play the introduction to the song, it scarcely took Jeff two chords to recognize what he was playing – and I wish you could have seen the transcendent look of delight and amazement on his face and he took a seat in the second pew. And when the kids and adults joined Tom on the refrain Shower the People you love with love . . . Show them the way that you feel . . . Things are going to work out fine if you only will . . . Jeff started crying like I’ve never seen him cry before. (And I have seen him cry plenty of times, but not like this.) I’m sure it was a combination of it being a complete surprise coupled with the uniquely moving beauty of children’s voices singing such powerful and meaningful words – words which the world so desperately needs to hear and embrace.
There was plenty more music than that… including the senior choir’s two anthems (Cantad al Senor sung in Spanish- because Jeff is fluent in the language- and John Rutter’s lovely Clare Benediction) and three wonderful pieces played by our bell choir. And Caritas sang Garth Brooks‘ “The River” and evoked plenty of smiles all around. But what I especially want to mention is today’s closing hymn, “God be with you till we meet again.”
This is the third time in my life that this song has been sung in a moment of bittersweet farewell. The first was back in 1984 on my last Sunday at the church in Lincoln, Nebraska where I was organist during grad school and which had become a tremendously important community of faith and home away from home for me. I scarcely knew the hymn at the time, but in an instant became one of my favorites. Many years later – the spring of 2008 to be specific – Weston Noble was finishing up his year as guest director of the Carthage Choir. I was anxious that there be some sort of moment during the commencement exercises (Mr. Noble was to receive an honorary doctorate) when the choir could surprise him with some sort of special musical gesture. And what I came up with was this same hymn- God be with you till we meet again – which I rehearsed with the choir in secret – and which they sang for Mr. Noble SO expressively and lovingly. And now for a third time this hymn has helped me say farewell with the comforting promise that those we love remain an important part of our lives.
pictured above: Tom Hagemann singing “Shower the People you Love with Love” backed up with the senior, youth and sunday school choirs. I wish you could have seen it – and heard it.