We will not soon forget the beautiful wedding which occurred this past weekend in Baraboo, Wisconsin in the backyard of our good friends from Holy Communion, Dal and Jackie Drummer. Although they live in South Milwaukee, where they have both been public school teachers for many years, their second home is in picturesque Baraboo (where Dal grew up) and their daughter Mari has hoped since the age of four (according to her dad) that she would be married in this remarkably beautiful place, out in the fresh air, amidst the trees and flowers and wide open spaces which the whole family has cherished for so many years. And that’s exactly what happened yesterday afternoon – under a cloudless sky with just enough breeze to make the day absolutely perfect. What a wonderful gathering this was, with friends and family from far and wide – and a gathering which was elegant yet so relaxed and enjoyable. (Mari was in a gorgeous formal gown, but she had her bridesmaids go barefoot – and while Jason, the groom, was in a suit, he had his groomsmen in sandals and shirtsleeves.) Because it was out of doors, the prelude, processional and recessional were all done with recordings – and the processional was amazingly beautiful. It was a piece called “Highland Cathedral” by Michael Korb, and Jackie, the bride’s mom, had everything timed out perfectly – right down to lovely little soft passage which coincided with the entrance of the ring bearer and flower girl before the big climax burst forth in time for Mari’s entrance with her folks. It was SO right – and not in a fussy, everything-just-so, uptight sort of way – but “right” in the sense of taking the time to make the music just right for this supremely important moment. It was breathtaking. Another touch I loved – among many – was that as Mari and her folks reached the front, they engaged in heartfelt hugs with Jason and his folks. . . everyone hugging everyone. . . and it set just the right feeling of warmth and love that such an occasion is supposed to be about.
There were three songs sung during the wedding itself. Caritas – to the assured guitar accompaniment of family friend Matt Veldt – sang the hymn “In the Garden” and my composition “Beloved, let us love one another” . . . the former because it was Grandma Tetting’s favorite hymn and it fit the visual setting so perfectly, and the latter because Caritas had sung it for the wedding of Mari’s brother, Nick. The third song, Walter Rodby’s “The Blessing of Aaron,” has been the concert finale for the Carthage Choir for many years, and it has been sung for a number of important gatherings, including funerals and family reunions, sung by whoever knows it and wants to join in. Jackie asked me to conduct it on this occasion, and I was profoundly honored to be standing in front of such a fine group of 25 singers: family, mostly, but friends as well – singing this piece as the benediction and singing so beautifully.
As if all of that wasn’t sufficiently wonderful, there was also Pastor Jeff Barrow’s sermon – which was a grand slam home run. He began by pointing out to all who were gathered that Mari and Jason had managed to choose for the wedding both a hymn (In the Garden) and a scripture text (Psalm 121 – “I lift my eyes to the hills- from whence comes my help?”) which are almost entirely used for funerals. But Jeff went on to say that he loved their choice of Psalm 121 because it’s a call for help – and that it’s a very healthy thing to enter into marriage knowing that you need help! And of course, that help comes from each other – from family – from family – and from God. I also loved the moment when Jeff gestured to the beautiful bluffs in the distance and said that while one would wish that life could always be this serene, most of our lives look and feel like the Wisconsin Dells themselves – that is, too busy, too loud, too brassy – – – but that even in those circumstances, God is still walking with us.
I can only remember two other outdoor weddings in my life. The first dates back to the early 70’s when we lived in Decorah, and Patsy Martinson – daughter of our dear friends Emil and Jeanette – got married in the backyard of the Big Canoe Lutheran Church parsonage. That wedding was over thirty years ago but I remember much of it like it was yesterday, so strong an impression did it make on me. (I remember that for their vows they walked way off to the side and basically whispered to one another in a private exchange – because they apparently didn’t want anyone gathered there to hear something so personal. My mom and dad loved everything else about the wedding but had a lot of trouble with that choice- and I felt so grown that they shared their misgivings about this with me, who was maybe 12 at the time.) The other outdoor wedding that comes to mind was the wedding of Shauna Olson, who was the VP of the Carthage Choir when I took them to Europe in 2000. She and her husband Eric were married in a lovely park in the Twin Cities- but unfortunately they and their guests were buffeted by gale force winds that blew over flowers, chairs, etc. and which started to feel like something straight out of “The Wizard of Oz.” Once you’ve been through a wedding like that where Mother Nature has been rather rudely uncooperative, you come to appreciate even more profoundly when a wedding day is as perfect as yesterday was for Mari and Jason.