For the past 22 years, it has been my honor at Carthage’s commencement exercises to lead in the audience in the singing of John Ylvasaker’s hymn “Borning Cry” – but that changed this year when it was decided to eliminate the hymn from what is already, admittedly, a very lengthy ceremony. I was sad to receive the news, but the bright side to the disappointment was that I could more readily sneak away to attend the celebration for the high school graduation of my niece Aidan Spencer-Berg. This was a big deal for me because I have been an Absentee Uncle for just about all of Aidan’s red letter days, including her birthdays and significant musical and theatrical performances. Here, at long last, was an important occasion which . . . wonder of wonders . . . I wasn’t going to have to miss!
I think in many cases, we who are aunts and uncles and other somewhat distant relatives attend these kind of celebrations with a tiny bit of dread mixed in with our excitement. We often are coming from a distance and don’t know the vast majority of people who are there – and often these can be sort of stiff affairs where it isn’t all that easy to converse and/or introduce ourselves to the strangers we encounter. And because Aidan’s celebration was actually done in combination with two of her closest friends who also graduated, I wondered if I would know even fewer people and ultimately feel rather out of place. I was still glad to be there for Aidan, but wondered if I would actually have all that much fun.
As it turns out, I need not have worried one little bit about that. This party was INCREDIBLY fun – and replete with all kinds of special touches that made it unique and refreshing- two adjectives which also perfectly describe my niece. The party took place not in a stuffy restaurant or banquet hall, but at a 4-H camp way out in the country. A spectacular spread of food was prepared, with something for everyone- and the evening included square dancing and the launching of gorgeous paper lanterns. But the heart of the evening came when Aidan and her two young friends were brought up to the front to be officially congratulated. Since all three were dually-enrolled students (partly home-schooled) they didn’t actually graduate from Decorah High School, as such, and did not receive diplomas at that ceremony. So to the sound of Aidan’s cousin Mason playing “Pomp and Circumstance” on the saxophone, the three young ladies had their own procession, walking arm-in-arm around the perimeter of the crowd, as everyone cheered. It was a really lovely moment. And after that, once they had been presented with lovely homemade diplomas, they were serenaded by family members and close friends with a beautiful song. My sister Randi tells me that this has been sung at all kinds of special events in the Spencer-Berg family, and this occasion would have been terribly incomplete without the singing of “Blessings” by Donna Hebert:
May the eastern breezes bless you.
Lift your spirits – make them fly.
May the southern sun shine on you
Warm your heart and help you try.
May the western waters cleanse you
Washing over all you feel.
Northern earth be yours to stand in
Ground you so you know what’s real.
Over all be strength and beauty
Food and friends and music fine
Work you love and Pleasant duty
Love to make your spirit shine.
All of these I wish upon you.
Multiply them 3 times 3
Draw a circle all around you
And forever blessed be.
I sang this song this morning for a moment in our church service at Holy Communion when we honored five high school seniors who are soon to leave for college. As I looked at those five youngsters, I realized that I really only knew two of them- but oddly enough, it was especially for them that I sang this song. The lyrics somehow speak to the sense of the unknown which is part of a moment like this in anyone’s life. There simply is no way to know exactly what is ahead- even when we know them well – but whatever is ahead for them, you hope that life will bring them a sense of meaning and purpose …
I have no way of knowing what exactly is ahead for my beautiful, gifted niece Aidan. She is a person of enormous promise and potential …. a stunningly skilled singer and actress, a bright, vibrant and inquisitive student, and a tender-hearted, compassionate human being …. and I want to believe that any door she approaches will open automatically, without hesitation, before she even has to knock on it! Why wouldn’t they open for someone so gifted and so lovely, inside and out? But there are a lot of singers out there and not enough doors to go around. But of this I am certain: my niece Aidan is going to have a wonderful life, full of all of the things that matter most – because she has been raised to understand and cherish what matters most. And the things that matter most are not riches and fame and influence …. prizes that so often prove to be elusive, lying just outside of one’s greedy grasping hands.
What matters most are the people we love and who love us- the people who value us and celebrate who we are- with whom we laugh- with whom we cry. What matters most are those things which are most profoundly beautiful … music and poetry and pictures and stories, and the imaginative spirit which creates them. What matters most are quiet, natural places, largely untouched by us, that help us know where we belong in this world, and that help us know from Whom all things come. And what matters most are those precious opportunities when we can use our gifts and talents in a way that brings a little more light into the darker corners of this world, to make a real difference, and to help us learn to care about others. Aidan has already experienced all of these blessings in her young life, and I am absolutely certain that still more such blessings await her in the new chapters of her life that have yet to be written. I’m suddenly reminded of a song I composed for Matt and Randi’s wedding more than 25 years ago – a song called “This Good Ground.” It occurs to me that Matt and Randi have given Aidan the best possible gift that parents can give a child …. Good Ground in which to grow into a strong, vibrant, creative, compassionate, joyous human being. And if that’s not reason for a party, I don’t know what is!
Pictured above: Aidan and Randi dancing together at the graduation party. What a sweet sight . . . one of many that night!