Last night was opening night of Carthage’s production of an uncommonly powerful and moving musical called “Spring Awakening” –  a show that I sort of expected to and almost wanted to hate,  believe it or not,  but which in fact I found pretty hard to resist.

I kind of wanted to hate the show – or at least dislike it a bit – because the little I already knew about the show was disconcerting at best and downright disturbing at worst. I had several students in the cast who were anxious for me to see it but who warned me about the show’s rather raw sexual content and very rough language.  (As I laughingly told music director Amy Haines yesterday,  not only have I never said the “F word” – I’m not sure I’ve ever even spelled it!)   And the handful of songs I knew from the show led me to think that the score would be ear-rattlingly loud and mind-blowingly repetitive as rock music can very much be.   (In other words, this is not “Oklahoma.”)  So I went to last night’s performance to support my private voice students who were in the cast,  along with many other cast members I knew and admired . . . and was also there to support my faculty colleagues like Amy, Herschel Krueger, Kim Instenes and Corinne Ness who helped bring this production to life.   I settled into my seat in the Wartburg Auditorium with gritted teeth,  expecting the performance to go down like foul- tasting cough medicine or some other unpleasantness which one willingly endures.  Actually,  “gritted teeth” is putting it too strongly.  I sat there with arms folded and a completely blank expression on my face,  with the lowest possible expectations of enjoying myself in the standard sense of the word. . . I suppose much like the typical non-music major taking my Opera class who sits there with arms folded and an empty facial expression while I’m cueing up highlights from Wagner’s Parsifal, thinking to himself or herself “okay, entertain me.  I dare you.”

(By the way,  as the show started my mood was a tiny bit darker than it would have otherwise been because I had been shown to the wrong seat and had to switch seats just as the show was starting- and for simplicity’s sake, I seated myself in the very back row on the far north end,  as far from the stage as one could possibly be, with no one sitting anywhere near me.  Being a bit isolated from anyone else in the audience somehow heightened my sense of being very much out of my element and just wanting the night to be over so I could go back home to my Placido Domingo records.)

The show IS out of the ordinary.  Based on Wedekind’s 1891 daring and controversial play of the same name (actually, the original German title was “Frühlings Erwachen”), the story is about 19th German young people living in a community which callously and sometimes even brutally forces them to suppress their questions and feelings about their sexual selves…. which in turn leads them to exploration, experimentation and flights of erotic fantasy.  (I say it again- this is not “Oklahoma.”)  It’s a story which ultimately touches on sexual assault, abortion, and suicide- although the final tableaux is meant to convey a sense of hope.   And although the story is set in the late 19th century (with the men in knickers) the music and many of the song lyrics are completely modern – which can at at times be a little bit jarring.  But I think the point of that is to help us identify with the inner feelings and urges of these young people on a very visceral level, which would be much harder if these characters were singing songs that sounded like they were written by Brahms.   Something else that I found a bit jarring about the show is that pretty much every adult we encounter is either monstrous or clueless – and as a gray-haired 53-year-old, I found myself resenting that more than a little bit.   But the show is very much told through the eyes of the young people;   it is through their prism that we are seeing these events unfold.  I still wish the story approached these events more even-handedly, if for no other reason than to avoid simplistic stereotypes – but then again, that would rob this story of some of its unique power and impact.

And it is indeed powerful – and moving- and even haunting.  And our hearts absolutely break for characters like the earnest but hapless Moritz or the brilliant but reckless Melchior or sweet, naive Wendla. They are from another time and place and yet they feel incredibly real and familiar- I could think of certain students I’ve taught at Carthage who were not all that different from them.  It’s also a story that makes us think about the proper place of boundaries and barriers in our  lives, especially as we’re growing up and experiencing powerful urges and desires for the first time. One way to interpret the moral of this story is “Rules Bad; Freedom Good,”  and I wish the story didn’t trumpet that quite so insistently.   But then again, this story is told from the perspective and primarily in the voice of its young characters,  and we can’t really blame them for embracing a motto of “Rules Bad; Freedom Good,” especially when those rules are used and implemented in such unfeeling and inhumane fashion.  Indeed, some of the most heartbreaking moments in this show are when those young people flee to arms of their parents – for comfort, for answers, for love – only to find coldness and insensitivity.   And that is a harsh reality for too many young people in the world, then and now.

Yes, “Spring Awakening” is not “Oklahoma” …  and one of the clearest indications of that is in the deep reflection on complicated questions which this show prompts.  I cannot imagine anyone walking out of Wartburg Theater last night turning to their spouse and asking “did you remember to pick up my prescription?”  This show is the kind of show that hangs heavily on your soul, in the best sense of the word.  And I suppose that’s why I made the mistake afterwards of being more Critic than Supportive Teacher when I talked to my students who were in the cast.  With each of them, I was truly lavish with my compliments (and sincerely so)  but stopped short of saying “I liked it.”  I was impressed – I was moved – but I couldn’t bring myself to say “I liked it” …. I suppose a little bit like the mother of Wendla, who cannot bring herself to explain to her daughter where babies come from, though her daughter is desperate for her to do so.  Actually, it’s not just that I avoided saying the words “I liked it.”  I actually came right out and said the words “I can’t really say I liked it” –  in the context of very enthusiastic and heartfelt praise, but still . . .  I did not want to say “I liked it” because I wasn’t sure that I did.  I’m still not sure.

Only now as I write this blog entry am I realizing that it isn’t that I disliked it.  Not at all.  But the words “I liked it” don’t begin to describe – in no way do justice to – what I experienced.   That would be roughly akin to seeing a dazzling meteor shower and saying “I liked it” or telling a bride and groom after their beautiful and moving wedding service “I liked it.”  Those three words are utterly inadequate when you’ve just seen something as profound and provocative as “Spring Awakening.”    But on the other hand, when a voice student  asks you “so you really liked it?”    there is one answer to that question.  “Yes, I did!”  Especially when it’s a student you love and that student has just made you incredibly proud.

pictured above: This is a shot of the cast right after they have accepted the enthusiastic applause of the audience in the curtain call.   For the last song, they had shed their beautiful period costumes (well done, Kim Instenes) in favor of more contemporary clothing.  The cast was superb, top to bottom – and it was especially poignant and impressive to see amazing excellence not only from such gifted seniors as Kaylee, Bree, Alex and Preston (in their last theaterical production at Carthage)  but all the way  “down” to talented freshmen like Sean and Christian,  who are just starting out, and everyone in between.  That stage was overflowing with talent and skill.  And mention needs to be made of the excellent pit band, under the capable leadership of my colleague Amy Haines.

Carthage’s production of “Spring Awakening” runs from now through May 11th.