The story of Christmas may have begun in a humble barn in Bethlehem, but many people have managed to transform it into a lavish celebration of gift-giving.  And let me say right off the bat that Kathy and I are among them.   We take great delight both in giving and receiving presents, and have never bought into the notion that to do so somehow under- mines what this holiday is supposed to be about.  I recall an occasion not long after I started at WGTD (so it’s at least 25 years ago) that the Ideas Network devoted an hour of one of their call-in programs to giving people advice on how to bypass the craziness of Christmas shopping by creating homemade gifts, doing good deeds, giving to charity, that sort of thing.  I was driving home to Beloit at the time,  and as I listened I became increasingly miffed by what I was hearing.  The whole discussion seemed predicated on the premise that there was something wrong with standard gift-giving.  Every caller was in complete agreement, so I decided to shake things up a bit.  So I pulled over at the first pay phone I saw (remember those? this was before the days of cell phones) and called in to defend those of us who chose to brave the crowds, take out our checkbooks and buy presents for the people we love. I said that we chose to do so of our own free will, and that I deeply resented the implication that there’s something wrong with us. I have no idea if what I said made any difference to the hosts or anyone listening, but it felt good to say it.

A few years older and wiser, I now realize that I shouldn’t have been so critical of that discussion and so dismissive of the point that they were trying to make:  that it’s important that we live our lives according to our own values and not the values suggested by Hallmark or Best Buy or Fox News or NPR or anyone else.  And if extravagant gift-giving isn’t what you’re about or doesn’t line up with your values, then there is no reason to engage in it.  Find other ways to show your loved ones how much you care about them.  The point isn’t the “how”  as much as it is the “why.”  Gift giving should never be for the sake of impressing someone or paying someone back or fulfilling a duty . . . but rather to say “I love you and I am so thankful that you are a part of my life.”

Today was a day piled high with lovely store-bought presents- carefully, imaginatively and lovingly chosen- plus a gorgeous handmade gift from a voice student that I will always cherish –  but that really wasn’t the heart and soul of the day.  There was a delicious meal painstakingly prepared by Polly and Mark,  served on a festively festooned table – a meal that we got to sit down and enjoy together as a family.   We were entertained by two –  count ‘em two – puppet shows created and presented by our niece Lorelai. (The second one, done with Kathy and her dad,  was an impressive re-creation of “The Lonely Goatherd” from The Sound of Music.)   We played three games – Apples to Apples,  Aggravation, and the Disney version of Scene It! – and laughed ‘til we cried.  (In Aggravation, Lorelai and I were locked in a titanic struggle, with each of us needing to roll a one in order to win the game.  At some point, as I was rolling the dice Lorelai began singing “Don’t roll a one” to the tune of “Carol of the Bells”  – and pretty soon everyone was joining her in four-part harmony. And of course, when it was her turn to roll, the same song had to be sung.   After a few rounds of that, back and forth,  our sides ached from the laughter.  Lorelai eventually won, by the way, but I won Apples to Apples.  And in a boys against the girls battle royal,  the guys edged the gals in Walt Disney Scene It!)  And in what for me was maybe the nicest gift of the whole day,  I found out that Kathy and I will be able to get together with most of my family later this week- something I had feared would not be possible, given our complicated schedules.  Knowing that we would be able to celebrate with Dad, Sonja, Matt, Randi, their kids, and Nathan within the next few days was the shiny bow on top of what had already been a splendid day.

One more thing:  My day actually began with church at Holy Communion (I played piano), which included one more chance to sing some of the great carols, to hear a beautiful sermon from Pastor Bill, and to receive his heartfelt thanks for last night’s music at the evening candlelight service.  But what I especially appreciated was the chance to speak with Bill and Carol Roth, who were visiting.  Bill retired earlier this fall after more than 65 years as a church organist, with more than 50 of those years spent at Grace Lutheran in Kenosha. (I blogged about it back on September 11th in an entry titled simply “Bill.”) Carol said that it had been very difficult for Bill to give up playing the organ after so many years of doing something he loved so much.  But this past Sunday morning, they saw Placido Domingo interviewed on television, and when someone asked him what he would do at the age of 72 if he suddenly woke up unable to sing any more.  He replied, “I would drop to my knees and thank God for the 72 years that I was blessed to have my voice.”   And Bill realized that for however hard it is for him to close that important chapter in his life, he also needed to be grateful for all that had come before.   What a great lesson about loss and about stepping beyond our losses . . . in a season which, for all of its joys, often leaves us with a bittersweet awareness of the passage of time and the losses which inevitably come from it.  But isn’t it better to supplant that sense of loss with a generous helping of gratitude for all we have been given.  (My favorite lessons are the unexpected ones.)

I hope that Christmas Day brought you a similar array of gifts. . . and not just the kind wrapped in pretty paper, but the kinds that don’t come in a box, which draw us closer to each other.    And when it comes to those gifts fetched from under the tree, I hope each one reminds you of whoever gave it to you, and of how much they love you and you love them.   That’s what counts.

pictured above:  Our car is loaded up with the gifts we brought to Polly and Mark’s.