For 19 years now, Greg and Kathy Berg have been a package deal, and last night we spent a happy if low-key dinner at our neighborhood Olive Garden celebrating that milestone. We had talked about fancier options, but frankly we were both too tired from our big weekend to generate very much enthusiasm for that, even though we were only talking about a trip down the road to Kenosha. So Olive Garden it was, where we splurged on an appetizer and Kathy ordered her favorite – Lasagna Classico – while I tried a wonderful new item on the menu, the Bistecca. Mostly, it was just great to be together without the phone and the laptops and the dogs and the calendar. That’s what was the best thing of all, and it didn’t matter where we were eating. (A&W would have been fine.)
I should explain the rather odd headline, “crab cakes and cupcakes” (a really strange culinary combination, if there ever was one, unless the cupcake is decorated with sushi or the crab cake has chocolate frosting on it.) It’s my way of acknowledging something I really love about my life with Kathy – that she pushes me forward even as she also let’s me slip back into my comfort zone. And the former is represented by the crab cake and the latter by the cupcake. What? Still confused?
Okay. . . Not too long ago, we were out for supper at Olde Madrid restaurant in downtown Racine, a lovely Spanish restaurant. I know it was the summer because we were there with Kathy’s Aunt Linda from St. Louis. Anyway, one of the tapas we ordered was Crab Cakes, but I had no intention of going anywhere near them because I am just not a fish person at all. Fish sticks are basically the only fish I’m interested in eating, short of a swordfish steak drowning in garlic butter, which somehow doesn’t count. But otherwise, fish just isn’t for me- and I am even less enthusiastic about anything in the mollusk family OR anything that crawls around the ocean floor with antennas wiggling all over the place. . . shrimp, lobster, crab, crayfish. . . the thought of them just makes me shudder. But as were sitting in Olde Madrid, eating to our heart’s content, Kathy suddenly leaned over to me and said “you really should try a bite of this crab cake. I really think you will like it.” And much as I my knee-jerk reaction was to flat-out refuse to go anywhere near her crab cake, I realized that it made all the difference that Kathy was making the suggestion. She knows me. She knows what I like and dislike. And she cares about me. She wants me to be happy- and the last thing she would ever ever want to do is feed me something that would disgust me. So the fact that she felt so strongly that I would enjoy the crab cake is- oddly enough- all the convincing I needed. I took it- tried it- and LOVED it. Well no, that’s overstating it a bit- but let’s just say that it wasn’t the least bit repulsive. In fact, it was pretty darn good. And it was just one more case of my wife’s gentle nudging towards things that I otherwise wouldn’t try. I’m not even talking so much about food- other than seafood or deep-roasted roaches, I’m really not too scared to try interesting foods. It’s more about other facets of our life where I’m perfectly happy to sit on the status quo, when in fact a touch of excitement is easily available if we just do a little reaching. Kathy pushed for us to get our first computer, our first modem – and eventually our first laptop. Kathy pushed for our first trip to New York City, which is now our number one dream destination. Kathy is the one who suggested that we paint our downstairs in spectacular multiple colors- and then to paint the foyer in this bold new rose color that is so exciting and fresh! She thought we should re-finance our house with the new lower interest rate, which proved to be a spectacularly good idea. On and on and on . . . Whatever excitement or adventures we’ve had has been due almost exclusively to Kathy and her restless inquisitiveness. And yes, it can be unsettling from time to time, but where would we be without it? Probably still living in that teeny tiny apartment on 18th Avenue.
And yet, there is this other side to Kathy for which I am also grateful, and it is the side of her and let’s me be me. . . that accepts the side of me that memorizes the dialogue from Star Trek, that orders dark meat at KFC because he feels bad that everybody else orders white, that won’t use a restroom in a McDonald’s or other eating establishment without making some purchase (because I feel guilty using their restroom if I’m not a customer), and who is willing to humor me when I request cupcakes for my recital reception. It says a lot about how I’m wired that it never ever dawned on me that we would make them ourselves. And it never occurred to Kathy that we wouldn’t! And making those cupcakes together proved to be a delightful little adventure, even when I neglected to add water to the first batter and nearly burned out our hand mixer because the batter was the consistency of modeling clay. But Kathy swooped in as soon as she caught the error and made everything okay again. But what really made me smile was when Kathy put bite-sized Crunch bars on my shopping list. Her reasoning? She knew that I asked for cupcakes for the reception because that’s a food I’ve always loved- and in fact, when I would walk home from school, I would often stop at Hart’s bakery, buy six white cupcakes, and eat them all on the way home! And on other days, I would buy ten nestle crunch bars at Ben Franklin at eat them all on the way home. So in honor of that (so to speak) she thought it would be fun for nestle crunch bars to be part of the reception as well. That’s also my wife and I love that side of her.
So there you have it. . . Crab cakes and cupcakes. Nothing says Happy Anniversary and Wedded Bliss better than that!
pictured above: Kathy and I right in the midst of our cupcake preparation.