I am really glad I arrived at Rita Torcaso’s wedding on time, because this was one of those splendid occasions for which you would not want to miss a single moment, and even the next day I find myself breaking into a grin as I think about it. And Kathy and I feel so fortunate to have had now three wonderful weddings to celebrate this year alone- Trevor and Megan in June, Mari Drummer in July, and now Rita and her new husband Ben. Rita has been a voice student of mine, sang in the chamber singers, and is someone with whom I have had the great pleasure of making music in many and various ways- and she student-taught with my wife and sang under Polly in high school. We also love her folks so much- and her brother Joe is currently a voice student of mine at Carthage. . . so our connections with the Torcaso family run deep, and it made it even more gratifying to be a part of the festivities.
The wedding was, in a word, incredible. It was also long- as in one hour and 45 minutes long . . . but it didn’t seem long at all, which says something for how beautifully it was put together. There was TONS of music – everything but Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, I think – but so nicely chosen and so well-woven into the service. Rita is the organist and choir director at this particular church – Our Lady of Mount Carmel Catholic Church – so she came to the task of planning her wedding service with so much more know-how and sensitivity than the typical bride. . . although I thought it was neat that Ben was in on much of the planning as well. Rita not only wanted lots of music- but also wanted to involve a small army of musicians, beginning with the church choir there at Mount Carmel, who mean so much to her- and vice versa. There was also a string quartet augmented by a talented violinist from the parish – and the band director at the middle school where Rita now teaches played trombone. Polly and Kathy also sang – as did a close friend of Rita’s who has studied voice at UW-Parkside. And then there was me at the center of it all, playing the organ and leading the choir in much the same way as Rita does each Sunday. . . plus I did a little singing of my own. The music selections ranged from the tried and true (“You raise me up” – “One bread, one body” – “The Prayer” ) to pieces from the Catholic tradition that were new to me but which I was delighted to learn. (This was a full mass, complete with Communion.) Yet even amidst the string quartet and pipe organ, there was also room made for the accordian, and the tender song “Mamma” sung by Frank Germinaro, a relative of Rita’s and a beloved figure in Kenosha. He sang that as the mothers were ushered in, and that was a moving moment indeed. But the crowning glory, musically, had to be what Rita chose for her processional – “O mio babbino caro” from Puccini’s Gianni Schicchi. If you’re an opera fan, you know this – and even if you’re not, you’ve heard it in the background on various commercials. It’s an incredibly beautiful piece – but to have it beautifully sung as a bride walks down the aisle, escorted by her father . . . that set off a waterworks of weeping like I have never seen before. It was amazing and beautiful and perfect. Ultimately, everything went quite well . . . and I was especially relieved that I didn’t make any unfortunate mistakes in terms of playing something at the wrong time. It helped that Rita had a very thorough list of instructions for me, and with that even a klutz like me wasn’t likely to mess up. And we didn’t – all went well . . . and at the end, after the wedding party had left and I finished the recessional (Hallelujah Chorus from Messiah) the congregation spun around to the back balcony and broke into applause. I don’t think that has ever happened in all of the weddings I have played for over the years. It says something about how integral the music was to this service.
I have to mention one thing in which I took special delight: Back in August when Rita and I sat down to talk about her ideas for music (I was just a sounding board- she had things wonderfully worked out and just needed to be sure that everything could be done) I told Rita about a neat thing that happened at a wedding I played for more than thirty years ago back in Atlantic, Iowa. The bride, Tressa Wilcox, was the daughter of a doctor (and she herself and her husband are now doctors there.) Anyway, at the end of the wedding, she did something I had never seen before or since. . . . after she and her new husband recessed out, she had the parents recess out right after them – rather than waiting for all of the bridesmaids and groomsmen to exit, essentially leaving them sitting in the front pews, looking sort of abandoned. Tressa wanted to give her parents more of a place of honor at that moment- and she did – and all these years later I remember that so vividly. And Rita and Ben did that yesterday for their wedding . . . and it was an especially good idea because they had eleven bridesmaids, eleven groomsmen, and four young attendants . . . so it made even more sense to not leave the parents there for the end. So they were given a neat place of honor and I was so happy to have been the person to suggest that. (Later I asked Kathy if we had remembered to do that for our wedding – and neither of us can remember. I suppose we were so close to passing out from heat stroke at that point that we scarcely noticed who left when. We’ll have to dig out one of the wedding videos and check it out that way.)
As for the reception, it was at the Italian American Club, which Rita’s parents operate. . . and they pulled out all the stops. The food came in gigantic waves – every bit of it delicious – but what made the reception most wonderful of all was how Italian it was. Think “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” but with ravioli and cannoli . . . and you have some sense of what this joyous gathering was like. Singing, dancing, high energy . . . and such joy in that room. I was half asleep for it, thanks to the exceptionally long day I had, but nonetheless felt so fortunate to be there. What’s better than a party, especially for an occasion as joyous as this was.
In the middle of the afternoon, between wedding and reception, we were paid a quick visit by Trevor and Megan – the first time we had seen both of them since the wedding- and in addition to having such a blast, we also heard about a wedding they had recently attended which lasted six minutes. Six minutes! I’m quite sure that just the processional for Rita’s wedding lasted longer than that. Hearing about that wedding made us even more appreciative of what we had been part of earlier that day . . . a definite case of “More is More.”