This may be a dull-looking photograph to you – mostly white, black and grey with a few red letters and a number on it – but for me it represents fireworks, party hats, confetti, and brass bands. That’s because I have cracked the magic number of 60 – as in 60 pounds lost since January 1st, when I first embarked on the crusade to drop some of the bulk which was slowing me down, tiring me out, and elevating my risk for everything from diabetes to heart disease. (I blogged about it back on January 1st, in an entry called “The Number.”) It’s been a little bit of an up and down struggle, but mostly it’s been a steady downward march – one that started out with fairly gigantic, spectacular strides (as is usually the case) followed by a long series of little steps and sometimes baby steps- – – and in both directions. Fortunately, most of the little steps have been in the right direction, bringing me at long last to 211 pounds.
I think one reason I wanted to save the brass bands for the minus-60 mark rather than the minus-50 is that several years ago when Kathy and I did Weight Watchers, I made it to minus-50 . . . and actually got a cool little refrigerator magnet from them to commemorate the achievement . . . and that signaled the end of of my weight loss and the eventual and bewilderingly rapid return to my original weight – and then some. Of course, there’s nothing magically irreversible about losing 60 pounds and the potential is certainly there for me to pack on everything I’ve lost and then some, but I’m hoping that I’ve lost the weight more wisely this time around in a manner that is more sustainable. And having been through the Great Gain-Back once, I am certainly more vigilant about that possibility. So we’ll see. (Maybe sharing some of this with the world via this blog will serve as extra incentive, as well.)
At church this morning, a friend of mine – Gary Wood, a chemistry prof over at UW-Parkside – were talking about our respective weight loss, and he mentioned that the one bad thing about losing a substantial amount of weight at our age is that at some point someone is likely to ask “are you okay?” I’ve actually had only one person ask me that- and it happened to be the president of Gateway Technical College – but I suspect that maybe other people have wondered about that even if they didn’t come out and voice their concern. So for the record – I am fine. I’ve never felt better. Which is not to say that this insulates me with any certainty from bad things befalling me. (My friend Playford Thoreson was the picture of health, and nonetheless was stricken with ALS. I think of Playford every time I climb on the treadmill – and think of Walter with his MS – and somehow that gives me just a bit more spring in my step and makes me all the more grateful that, at least for this far, I am healthy. I cherish that blessing in a way that I never ever did before. )
So how did I get this far? (And by the way, I don’t see myself going much farther than this.) Reason #1- the treadmill at Razor Sharp and the fact that reading books while “treadmilling” makes me completely unaware of what I’m putting myself through, physically. That total distraction is what makes this not only tolerable, but even fun. Reason #2 – Jared and Subway, and especially their pepper-crusted turkey breast, which is just the dash of excitement which I needed to keep me coming back again and again. Reason #3 – the vegetable soup at Soup Depot, which has given me an amazingly handy way to get my vegetables. Reason #4 – Matt Goulding’s book “Eat This – Not That,” which is written with regular people in mind, living wild and crazy lives. I’ll devote an entire blog entry to this book one of these days, so I can explain how it’s laid out and what a terrific resource it has been for me. Reason #5 – My former voice student, and now my friend, Trevor Parker asked me to be one of his groomsman for his wedding on July 11th- and my determination to look presentable and not absurdly out-of-place standing with Gary and Dee and Trevor himself – fine athletes all – was the kick in the behind that I needed to start all of this. and Reason #6- my wife. It was she who got us our membership at Razor Sharp and convinced me to give it a try. She has cheered me on all the way and has always let me run off to the treadmill even when there might have been a foot-long list of things to do around the house – or even if she might have preferred just to have me home. She knows how important this has been for me, and I know I wouldn’t be 60 pounds lighter were it not for her.
Random thoughts. . . I’m not especially aware of my weight loss when I look in the mirror- which might sound strange and even quasi-anorexic, but the truth is that I am far more aware of the difference in how I feel. In voice lessons, I am much more inclined to leap up off the piano bench and go to a student’s side to point out something in the music or to demonstrate something for them – whereas nine months ago, I probably spent 95% of my voice lesson time on my butt. I am much more inclined to take the stairs rather than the elevator . . . and I am hoping that when Marshall and I go to the Lyric Opera for the first time this fall, I will find myself bounding up the stairs to our seats in the top balcony feeling like a Mountain Goat in the Himalayas rather than a Walrus climbing the spiral staircase at Sea World.
It’s fun to receive compliments about my weight loss – but it also makes me oddly aware of how self-centered this undertaking is. When I write a nice piece of music or do a good job leading a chorus rehearsal for the RTG or accompany someone’s recital, that’s something that really makes a difference in someone’s life or one might even say a difference in the world, albeit on a modest scale. But the fact that I have lost 60 pounds is of no direct benefit or blessing to anyone except me – yet I sometimes feel like I get more per capita compliments about my weight loss than about any of these other things which matter much more to me. But maybe it’s that there is something more universal about losing weight where a wider range of people can appreciate it. Maybe it’s the equivalent of walking your dog in your neighborhood, and people who might otherwise feel rather shy and self-conscious about talking to you will not hesitate to stop and gush over your beautiful Golden Retrievers. Whatever is behind it, I’m happy for the compliments.
If I could change anything about all this, it’s that I really don’t enjoy thinking so much about food … or should I say, thinking about calories and weight watcher points. I miss the mindlessness of just popping stuff in your mouth without any regard for what it’s doing to you. Once upon a time I had the metabolism which allowed me to do that – but those days are most emphatically behind me. So I guess I find myself most content with rather unvarying Habits – – – McD’s for every breakfast, Subway and Soup Depot for every lunch . . . so I can be a little less self-conscious about this and spend more of my waking hours thinking about life itself instead of caloric intake.
Final thought . . . I promise . . . One of biggest reasons I became so heavy was because of a situation (and someone) at one of my jobs that made me pretty unhappy – and apparently my search for self-comfort led me to the drive-thru windows of Burger King, Arby’s, and Rocky Rococo’s, just to name a few. If I’ve learned anything in all of this, I hope I’ve learned that there are far better sources of comfort than pizza, bacon cheeseburgers, and giant-sized roast beef sandwiches slathered with barbecue sauce. Just typing those words makes me a little homesick – but not so homesick that I ever want to return there . . . not even for a quick little visit.