At a glance, a sunset is so beautiful and serene. But there can be another side. Yesterday while Kathy and I were dining at Culver’s, I spotted a very dear elderly couple that we know – although I really don’t think of them as elderly because they have both been so vibrant and active until recently. Their first love is singing and they probably hold some sort of record for the number of Messiah performances in which they have sung over the years – either in choruses they were part of or in singalong performances like the ones I’ve conducted the last two years in Kenosha. They would sometimes drive up to Milwaukee, down to Chicago, or even farther, just to be sure that the Christmas holidays wouldn’t go by for them without at least one encounter with Handel’s Messiah, even if it was just to hear it from the audience. This was important to each of them and also something they could do together as a couple, and it always made me smile.
It was good to chat with them last night, but sad to hear that they are battling health problems – some fairly serious. She is losing her eyesight because of her diabetes, and he is suffering the effects of something which they called Vascular Dementia, which compromises his memory. So their days of singing together are pretty much finished and content themselves with appreciative listening. But what a tough loss for them – and life has to be so challenging for these dear people. It was only the two of them at Culver’s- no one else was with them – so I asked how they got there. It turns out that he drives because he can still see – but she has to tell him where to go because he can’t remember that anymore. It’s a bit frightening to think of them on the road, and I have a feeling that those days are drawing rapidly to a close- but I deeply admire the way that they are continuing on as best they can. The alternative, of course, is to simply Quit – and they’re not going to do that. I suppose it really helps that they have each other at this point, and the determination of the one can shore up the other’s as need be.
It was sad- but it was also so sweet- and if my wife and I both make it into our 80s, I hope we will manage the journey as well as these folks have. And I would like to think that all of the singing they have done and experienced over the years has something to do with all the hope and strength and surprising joy with which they are living this part of their lives.
pictured: A photo of sunset I took earlier this week in Racine, standing in our front yard and looking west. I love those colors.